WASHINGTON — A new national poll reportedly shocked political analysts after revealing that President Trump remains more popular than several of his loudest critics — including Stephen Colbert, Gavin Newsom, Kamala Harris, and AOC — despite what organizers described as a “carefully balanced methodology,” sources have confirmed.
According to insiders, the survey intentionally included more Democrat voters than Republicans in order to ensure what poll designers called “a statistically safe emotional environment.”
Participants were also reportedly offered VIP passes to The View, complimentary tote bags reading “Orange Man Still Bad,” and a coupon for one free public meltdown on X.
Despite these precautions, Trump still ranked higher in favorability.
Within minutes of the results being released, several progressive commentators immediately suggested Republicans must have somehow rigged the poll — despite the fact that the poll was designed, conducted, monitored, and explained entirely by left-leaning media outlets.
“One theory is that Republicans secretly infiltrated the polling process,” said one analyst on cable news.
“Possibly by answering the questions honestly.”
Political observers say the results appear to highlight a growing frustration among voters who feel many of Trump’s critics have spent the last decade discussing little besides Trump himself.
“One respondent told us, ‘We might actually like you more if you did literally anything besides complain about the president,’” a pollster explained.
“Fix something. Pass a bill. Try governing for a few minutes.”
As of press time, Democratic strategists had reportedly concluded the only logical explanation for the results is that voters themselves have somehow been hacked by Republicans.
“ Fix something. Pass a bill. Try governing for a few minutes!”
I think we have a winner !
It’s been like this for years
“Trump’s critics have spent the last decade discussing little besides Trump himself.”
Perhaps it is because every day this loser screws something up and every second of the day, this P.O.S. lies about everything he opens his sh*t eating mouth about.
Trump is a traitor to the constitution and his oath and needs to hang by his worthless neck.
* lets all watch his little orange toes twitch as he hangs. So, I say FU*C trumpty dumpty!
Wow ! Perfect satire of a Dem !
Oh, and FU*C is spelled FU*K…
Even when used satirically !
Apparently, Semore’s name is quite literal as his head is obviously up someone or another’s ass!
Right on, Mick!
Waaaaaaaaahh!! Poor little spoiled crybaby…
Howcum I can’t see the entire drawing? Good as it is!!