In a bold statement that has left taxpayers scratching their heads, the Department of Education has announced it needs to double its funding to improve American students’ education, after U.S. students ranked last in global education assessments despite the country spending the most per pupil in the world, sources have confirmed.
The Department’s request for more cash comes with a promise that this time, unlike all other times, they really mean to fix things.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. However, we believe doing the same thing with more money will yield different results,” a Department spokesperson stated during a press conference, while presenting a PowerPoint slide titled “More Money, More Learning?”
Critics argue that pouring more money into the current system is like adding water to a leaky bucket, while supporters insist that the only leak is not having enough water. Meanwhile, educational reform advocates suggest that maybe—just maybe—the bucket needs fixing first.
As of press time, the Treasury Department was seen buying new calculators to determine if it’s actually possible to multiply zero results by a factor of two.
A big fat absolute no.Dismantle DOE. Let each state govern their own BS. they they don’t teach anyway anymore
It’s a terrible waste of taxpayer funds. That’s a BIG, BIG NO!
There is no need to buy new calculators to determine the mathematical results of (0 x 2). No matter how the department of education(lower case for emphasis), results spins it, (0 x 2) equals 0. However who knows what math principals they have been teaching to yield such poor results.
Not an EFING dime! Close it down! Boot em out!
Isn’t there another saying – those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.
That’s why Trump closed it down now.
Once you have been in a union you believe you are doing great no matter what The truth is. I never wanted to be in a union. But Lowe and behold, my perse (in my last job) voted to unionise. So the last four years that I worked, I was in a union. It did me no good, but I wasn’t there long enough to be harmed either. My advice to everyone is to avoid unionization.
We are last because kids don’t have to earn the right to attend school. This is the one thing China definitely has right! If kids don’t want to go to high school don’t, flip burgers. But if you do want to attend school you better be serious.