U.S. NEWS
Minnesota Assures Public Governor Was “Moments Away” From Stopping Fraud for Several Consecutive Years
Minnesota Governor Tim Walz reportedly assured reporters this week that he spent years cracking down on fraud using a bold,...
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POLITICS
Josh Shapiro Accepts Record Salary to “Model Wealth Inequality Up Close” for Struggling Pennsylvanians
Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro has officially accepted the highest gubernatorial salary in America as part of what aides describe as...
WORLD NEWS
Mamdani Says Funding Isn’t Important — Free Buses Will Manifest Themselves Through Socialism and Positive Thinking
New York’s mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani shocked reporters this week after openly admitting he has no idea how to pay for...
Mamdani Tells Illegal Aliens How to Resist ICE, Promises Them New York’s Wealth… After It Finishes Relocating
Zohran Mamdani reportedly gave illegal aliens “resistance training” that consisted mostly of telling them to hide indefinitely while he prepares...
UK Left-Wing Anti-Corruption Crusader Sentenced for Corruption
A former British anti-corruption minister — best known for lecturing conservatives on morality, ethics, and “the dangers of right-wing corruption”...
Colombia’s Petro Denies Drug Use While Yelling at Pigeons from Five-Star Resort
Colombian President Gustavo Petro has loudly denied rumors of drug use while appearing suspiciously high on the balcony of a...
ENTERTAINMENT
Nation’s News Cycle Held Hostage by Rosie O’Donnell’s Trump Obsession
The American news cycle has been effectively monopolized by Rosie O’Donnell and her ongoing, high-intensity emotional response to President Trump,...
Democrats Elevate CGI Alien to Moral Authority, Hope Americans Forget Reality
Hollywood progressives announced this week that actress Zoe Saldaña’s personal interpretation of her blue CGI alien from Avatar has officially...
‘Where’s Waldo?’ Photo Confirms Democrats Still Prefer Biden In The Background
After yesterday’s Christmas photos flooded social media, one familiar question once again crossed the minds of Americans everywhere: where is...
Nation Stunned As Democrats Accidentally Celebrate Christmas After Spending All Year Complaining About It
The nation was left confused Christmas afternoon after several prominent Democrats were spotted celebrating the holiday they previously warned was...
SPORTS
Liberals Demand Boxing Be Replaced With Inclusive Combat Where No One Wins And Everyone Feels Seen
Progressive activists demanded sweeping changes to professional boxing Friday night after discovering the sport still involves actual punching, physical consequences,...
Left Melts Down After Trump Announces ” Patriot Games” Competition
Liberal activists erupted into immediate outrage after President Trump announced the Patriot Games, accusing the event of promoting toxic masculinity,...
NFL Players Offered Participation Lombardis After Media Declares Criticism “Violence”
The NFL was thrown into emotional turmoil Thursday night after Buccaneers head coach Todd Bowles used profanity during a postgame...
Blind Socialist Referee Exposed After Season of Botched Calls and Bold Redistribution Efforts
Finally, after a long season of poor calls, gambling whispers, and referees literally turning a blind eye, several NFL officials...
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