U.S. NEWS
Mr. Socialism Hires Billionaire To Do His Math Homework
Zohran Mamdani, affectionately known in his district as “Mr. Socialism,” has decided the best way to fight billionaires is to...
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POLITICS
Gavin Newsom Campaign Strategy: Rename Midwest ‘Napa East’ and Hope for the Best
Democrat hopeful Gavin Newsom is reportedly struggling in swing states because he cannot locate them on a map, let alone...
WORLD NEWS
Ohio Donors Realize Tim Ryan’s Promises Spoiled in the Fridge
Ohio Donors Ditch Tim Ryan After Discovering His Campaign Promises Expired Years Ago, Sources Have Confirmed COLUMBUS, OH — Major...
Democrats Panic as Trump–Putin Summit Threatens to End Ukraine War, Hillary Flirts with Nobel Nomination
Anchorage, AK — Panic swept through Democratic headquarters today after President Trump’s unexpected peace summit with Vladimir Putin in Alaska...
Ayatollah’s High Life: Khamenei’s Dank Days Exposed!
Iran's supreme leader’s wild lifestyle revealed, sources have confirmed. While FOX News reports Ayatollah Ali Khamenei spends his days sleeping...
Judges Caught in Eco-Love with Activists
Judges’ climate activist chats raise alarms, sources have confirmed. FOX News uncovered judges swapping eco-sweet nothings with climate activists in...
ENTERTAINMENT
Queens Red Light Veterans Cry Foul Over Competition
Insiders claim that the push to clean up AOC’s district isn’t about protecting families, it’s about protecting business interests, sources...
Monty Python Films Rebooted for Woke Audiences — Runtime Now 4 Minutes Each
Comedy legend Eric Idle has officially hired his daughter as “Chief Joke Compliance Officer,” tasked with filtering out any humor...
Democrats Furious: Trump Not Even a Swifty, How Dare He Speak of Engagements
President Donald Trump congratulated Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce on their engagement this week, sources have confirmed. What should have...
House Bill Requires New Voting Machines Capable Of Reading Telepathic Ballots From Aliens.
Locals in upstate New York were stunned when a glowing object floated across the night sky, sources have confirmed. While...
SPORTS
Democrats Demand MLB Retroactively Forfeit Yankees’ 2009 World Series Because Teixeira is a Trump Supporter
In a shocking but totally predictable move, outraged Democrats are now insisting Major League Baseball strip the New York Yankees...
Leftists Demand Jackson Be CANCELED After Repost
When the left saw “Lamar Jackson shared post” flash across their screens, you could practically hear the detonation of angry...
Elizabeth Warren Proposes 45-Minute Trigger Warning Before Any White House Fight
Dana White’s announcement that UFC fights will take place at the White House on July 4th, 2026 has sent the...
Seattle’s Kraken Mascot Exposes Liberal Bear Costume Conspiracy After Brown Bear Charges
In an epic twist that’s rocking both the NHL and the wildlife world, Seattle Kraken mascot Buoy is being hailed...
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