U.S. NEWS
Mamdani Boycotts Most Inclusive Israel Day Parade Ever Because “Too Many Non-Socialists”
NEW YORK — In a display of pure progressive open-mindedness, socialist Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced he will skip this year’s...
Read moreDetails
POLITICS
Governor Moore’s Résumé Stretches Further Than Marylanders’ Utility Budgets
ANNAPOLIS, MD — Maryland Gov. Wes Moore’s Afghanistan story is reportedly unraveling faster than a cheap pair of campaign socks,...
WORLD NEWS
Mangione Superfans Obtain NYC Press Passes After Correctly Answering “Do You Hate Rich People?”
NEW YORK — New York City’s press credentialing process reached historic new lows this week after a squad of Luigi...
Former LA Mayor Accidentally Tells The Truth: “Yeah… It’s Not Trump’s Fault We’re A Dumpster Fire”
LOS ANGELES — In what historians are calling the most dangerous act of political heresy since a journalist asked a...
Democrats Introduce First-Ever Mime Presidential Candidate: “Kamala Harris Will Say Nothing… Literally”
WASHINGTON — With the 2028 field desperate for a candidate who can promise free everything without accidentally forming a complete...
Late-Night Silence So Good, Ratings Expected To Skyrocket
In an unprecedented display of accidental self-awareness, Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are reportedly scheduled to go completely dark in...
ENTERTAINMENT
Tom Brady Struts Gucci Runway In Leather Skinny Jeans, Proving He Can Deflate Anything
Tom Brady made his catwalk debut at Gucci’s latest fashion show, proving once again that the man can deflate footballs,...
Jake Paul Calls Out Conor McGregor, Immediately Begins Googling ‘Can You Uncall Out Someone?’
LAS VEGAS — In the latest episode of Influencer Gets Mouthy And Immediately Regrets It, YouTube phenom-turned-boxing promoter Jake Paul...
Montreal Strippers’ Strike Sparks Global Fan Rebellion: “Give Them What They Want!”
MONTREAL — Chaos erupted this week after Montreal strippers announced a strike just days before the 2026 Canadian Grand Prix,...
Hollywood Stars Prepare To Burn More Jet Fuel Than A Small Country To Lecture You About Your Carbon Footprint
Hollywood elites are reportedly preparing for another brave climate summit disguised as the Cannes Film Festival, where they will arrive...
SPORTS
Trans Athlete’s Mom Outraged Biological Girls Allowed To Share Podium: “This Is Unfair To My Child!”
SACRAMENTO — California’s new track-and-field compromise broke irony meters statewide this week after activists who spent years demanding inclusion were...
Steve Kerr Has Great Woke Awakening
In a moment of pure enlightenment that left social justice warriors weeping into their oat milk lattes, Golden State Warriors...
CBS Misses Rory McIlroy’s Final Masters Shots After Deciding “Everyone At Augusta Won”
In a devastating blow to Americans who still believe sports broadcasts should show the sport, CBS reportedly missed Rory McIlroy’s...
CB Bucknor Praised By Progressive MLB Fans For Liberating Baseball From Outdated ‘Safe’ And ‘Out’ Labels
Major League Baseball unveiled its most progressive rule change yet Tuesday night after an umpire made a call so confusing...
POLL
MOST POPULAR
© 2025 DailySkrape.com. All Rights Reserved.