U.S. NEWS
Talarico Calls Capitalism Oppressive, Immediately Checks Campaign Donations
AUSTIN, TX — James Talarico reportedly forgot to drink his political happy juice Tuesday and accidentally said the quiet part...
Read moreDetails
POLITICS
El-Sayed Discovers Hasan Piker Is Just Some Guy From California Five Minutes After He Becomes Inconvenient
DETROIT, MI — Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed reportedly completed the fastest political friendship breakup in recorded history Monday after...
WORLD NEWS
Iran Brags About Knocking Out Tiny British Power Plant, Britain Quietly Starts Paying Attention
LONDON — Iranian-linked hackers reportedly celebrated a historic cyber victory after shutting down one small British power facility for four...
Wes Moore Attempts to Redistrict Himself Into Another State
ANNAPOLIS, MD — Maryland Gov. Wes Moore reportedly unveiled a bold new redistricting proposal Friday after spending so much time...
Beshear Joins DSA Bandwagon After Discovering Politicians Are Supposed to Work for Voters
FRANKFORT, KY — Gov. Andy Beshear shocked Democrats Tuesday after praising the DSA’s “big ideas” and accidentally admitting that government...
Judges Halt Trump Ballroom, Approve Unlimited Taxpayer Spending to Keep Halting It
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The federal government entered another Code Red Trump Derangement emergency Friday after judges halted construction of President...
ENTERTAINMENT
El-Sayed Has Awoken the Momma Bear—and the Entire Vance Family Is Joining Her
DETROIT, MI — Abdul El-Sayed reportedly made a serious tactical error this week: he mentioned JD Vance’s wife one too...
Bat Crawls Into Doctor’s Mouth After Hearing Everything in America Is Free Now
RICHMOND, VA — A doctor awoke this week to discover a bat attempting to move into her mouth, an incident...
WNBA Launches Department of Authentic Womanhood After Two Former NBA Players Apply
NEW YORK CITY — The WNBA entered an unprecedented administrative crisis Monday after ruling Enes Kanter Freedom and Royce White...
SPORTS
They Could’ve Built a League of Their Own—But Chose to Whine About Fairness Instead
NEW YORK CITY — Progressive sports officials reportedly spent years arguing over transgender athletes in women’s leagues before finally being...
Reddit Protects Women’s Basketball by Banning Woman’s Name From Women’s Basketball Forum
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Reddit moderators announced a major victory for open discussion Tuesday after protecting the WNBA subreddit from dangerous...
El-Sayed Unveils Participation-Trophy Football, Replaces Tackles With Therapy
DETROIT, MI — Abdul El-Sayed unveiled a revolutionary plan to save American football from masculinity by removing tackling, yelling, scorekeeping,...
MOST POPULAR
© 2025 DailySkrape.com. All Rights Reserved.