U.S. NEWS
PETA Pushes for Cake Reveal
In an effort to modernize old traditions and advocate for animal rights, PETA has proposed replacing Philadelphia's cherished groundhog day...
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POLITICS
Steelers Fans Cheer Trump’s Steel Tariff as Defensive Play
In a bold stroke of economic policy mingled with sports enthusiasm, President Donald Trump announced a 25% tariff on steel...
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WORLD NEWS
IRS Swaps Tax Forms for Immigration Forms, Noem Leads Charge
In a surprising twist of fate for the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), agents are reportedly being redirected from their traditional...
Trump Threatens to Unleash Hell if Hostages Aren’t Freed
In a dramatic escalation of rhetoric, President Donald Trump has issued a stark ultimatum to Hamas, demanding the release of...
U.K. Prime Minister Told To Put The Bong Down
In a bold critique that has crossed both the Atlantic and the bounds of conventional diplomacy, Senator John Kennedy, R-La.,...
Sanctuary Cities to Count Pennies, Not Dollars
In a cheeky nod to fiscal responsibility, Attorney General Pam Bondi has announced a groundbreaking budget plan for sanctuary cities:...
ENTERTAINMENT
Comedian Sues Hollywood for Being Overly White
In an episode that could only happen in the drama-filled corridors of Hollywood, comedian Tyler Fischer is embroiled in a...
Star Wars Hotel Enters New Orbit as Corporate Space
In a twist that even the most devoted Star Wars fan couldn't have predicted, Disney has announced plans to convert...
The View Clueless About Real American Opinions
In a revelation that has shocked absolutely no one, the co-hosts of "The View" are reportedly baffled by what the...
Selena’s Tearful Plea for Sex Offenders Divides Fans
Selena Gomez has reportedly posted a tearful video lamenting the deportation of Mexican sex offenders, sources have confirmed. In the...
SPORTS
Brady, Mahomes Share More Than Talent
In a revealing interview with FOX News, legendary quarterback Tom Brady confessed that he, much like Patrick Mahomes, always had...
Women Only in Women’s Sports
In a move that has stirred up the pot more vigorously than a high school sports rally, President Donald Trump...
NFL’s Tucker Oiled Up, Under Investigation
NFL kicker Justin Tucker is currently under investigation after being accused of bringing an excessive amount of baby oil to...
ESPN’s Stephen A. Reveals Surprise Vote
Stephen A. Smith, the ever-vocal ESPN commentator known for his fiery sports takes, has shocked his audience by admitting he...
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