U.S. NEWS
Mamdani Accidentally Taxes His Own Donor List, Immediately Schedules Emergency Fundraiser
NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani shocked wealthy supporters after his administration published a list of luxury-property owners targeted...
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POLITICS
Newsom Asks California to Delay Economic Collapse Until After 2028 Primary
SACRAMENTO, CA — Gov. Gavin Newsom privately urged Attorney General Rob Bonta to stop trying to block the Paramount-Warner Bros....
WORLD NEWS
Judges Halt Trump Ballroom, Approve Unlimited Taxpayer Spending to Keep Halting It
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The federal government entered another Code Red Trump Derangement emergency Friday after judges halted construction of President...
Canada Rebrands NATO Espionage As Multicultural Knowledge Exchange
OTTAWA, CANADA: The Canadian government has condemned Belgium for arresting a Canadian NATO intern suspected of spying for China, calling...
Iranian Propagandists Learn America Still Has One Rule: Don’t Threaten Women And Children
WASHINGTON — Iranian regime-linked propagandists reportedly released a disturbing AI-generated video targeting First Lady Melania Trump and her son Barron,...
Israelis Of Every Faith Ask American Leftists If They Have Ever Met Israel
JERUSALEM — Arab Christians, Muslims, Jews, Druze, and other Israelis reportedly held a rare unity press conference this week to...
ENTERTAINMENT
Democrats Spend $15 Million to Discover Socialism Is Expensive
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Centrist Democrats announced a $15 million campaign to defeat democratic socialism after realizing Vice President JD Vance’s...
Democrats Insist Fraud Is a Myth as JD Vance Keeps Finding Billions
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President JD Vance announced that his Anti-Fraud Task Force has stopped $56 billion in suspicious government...
Democratic Elders Warn Mamdani That Socialism Works Better Before Anyone Checks The Math
NEW YORK — Clinton and Obama-era Democratic heavyweights reportedly joined Republicans this week in criticizing Zohran Mamdani, creating panic inside...
Kamala Harris Preaches About Diverse Communities From Behind $8 Million Worth Of Locked Gates
LOS ANGELES — Kamala Harris reportedly hosted another inspirational preaching session about the importance of living in diverse communities this...
SPORTS
Cubs Fan Becomes America’s Grandpa After Smack Heard Round The World
CHICAGO — A Chicago Cubs fan became America’s unofficial grandfather this week after a viral video showed him confronting a...
Poker Pro Learns Hard Way That In Vegas It’s Not Who You Know, It’s Who You Owe
LAS VEGAS — A professional poker player was reportedly hogtied and robbed of his cash winnings this week, reminding gamblers...
Kamala Harris Gives WNBA Pep Talk So Confusing Team Immediately Requests A Second Halftime
LOS ANGELES — Kamala Harris reportedly delivered a motivational pep talk to the WNBA’s Los Angeles Sparks that was so...
FIFA Clears Balogun After Alleged Visit From ‘Very Persuasive Consultants’
GENEVA — U.S. soccer fans erupted into celebration after FIFA suspended a controversial red card issued to American striker Folarin...
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