U.S. NEWS
Hollywood Activists Furious After The Rock Refuses To Join Annual Celebrity Lecture Tour
HOLLYWOOD — Panic reportedly spread across Hollywood this week after Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson declined to participate in what insiders...
Read moreDetails
POLITICS
Mayor Mamdani Declares 78 Degrees The New ‘Comfort Zone,’ Says Sweating Is Community Building
NEW YORK — New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani reportedly urged residents to set their thermostats to 78 degrees during...
WORLD NEWS
Scientists Baffled As Tiny Hallucination Mushrooms Allegedly Reveal Socialist Leadership Consultants
BEIJING — Researchers studying a peculiar mushroom species that reportedly causes people to see tiny human-like figures were stunned this...
Scottish Soccer Fans Outdrink Boston’s Irish, Forcing City To Declare Emergency Guinness Shortage
BOSTON — World Cup officials confirmed this week that Scottish soccer fans have officially outdrunk Boston’s Irish population after marching...
Left Files 37 Lawsuits After Trump Says “I Love It” About Inflation Instead Of Crying On Command
WASHINGTON — Democrats launched an emergency national meltdown this week after President Trump, exhausted from lawsuits, investigations, fake scandals, foreign...
Seattle Mayor Announces New Public Safety Plan: Remove Resident Barriers So Crime Can Flow More Inclusively
SEATTLE — Seattle’s public safety crisis reached brave new heights this week after residents on a crime-ridden street built their...
ENTERTAINMENT
Union Bosses Warn Socialists That Replacing Skilled Labor With Border Chaos And YouTube Tutorials May Have Consequences
NEW YORK — Frustrated blue-collar union leaders reportedly warned socialist politicians this week that open-border policies are driving down wages...
Chicago Mayor Announces Community Outreach Initiative to Address Violence
CHICAGO — Mayor Brandon Johnson announced a new initiative this week aimed at reducing violence through direct communication and community...
WNBA Rebrands As “Jersey Shore UFC” After Caitlin Clark Commits Unforgivable Crime Of Being Good At Basketball
INDIANAPOLIS — League officials reportedly admitted this week that the WNBA has quietly transformed into a Jersey Shore version of...
Whoopi Declares Herself Spokesperson For All Americans, Pollsters Begin Updating Census
NEW YORK — The hosts of The View reportedly declared this week that they now speak on behalf of every...
SPORTS
LGBTQ+ Community Begs Woke Corporations To Stop “Helping” Before They Ruin Baseball Forever
AUSTIN — Members of the LGBTQ+ community reportedly held an emergency meeting this week to plead with corporate America and...
Psychic Warns UFO Mothership Will Interrupt World Cup, Aliens Reportedly Refuse To Leave Until They Understand American Politics
GLASGOW — A wildly emotional Brazilian psychic, clutching three crystals and a half-eaten empanada, warned millions this week that a...
Ghanaian Witch Doctor Claims Curse On Harry Kane Worked Better Than England’s Midfield
PHILADELPHIA — A Ghanaian witch doctor proudly claimed responsibility for England's scoreless draw against Ghana this week, insisting his curse...
World Cup Visitors Smuggle Marijuana And Ranch Dressing Home After Falling In Love With American Culture
BALTIMORE — Millions of visitors attending the World Cup have reportedly declared the United States “the greatest country on Earth”...
MOST POPULAR
© 2025 DailySkrape.com. All Rights Reserved.