U.S. NEWS
Hollywood Takes Over Congress, Cuts Affordability Scene to Make Room for Celebrity Cameos
After campaigning for Democrats, Hollywood’s loudest “stars,” as listed on the press release they wrote themselves, demanded a change in...
Read moreDetails
POLITICS
First-Time Voters Discover Divided Government, Ask Why Nobody Put It on the Study Guide
On Wednesday, a group of first-time voters rushed to the Smithsonian to donate screenshots of what they believed was America’s...
WORLD NEWS
Business Lobby Demands Mass Amnesty, Warns Higher Wages Could Force CEO to Sell Second Boat
Hours after Democrats celebrated their midterm wins, a coalition of business lobbyists demanded mass amnesty to address a labor shortage...
Jay Jones Secures Election by Having Police Arrest Everyone Providing Security
RICHMOND, VA — Virginia Attorney General Jay Jones unveiled an Election Day security plan requiring local police to protect polling...
France Deploys 70,000 Police With Strict Orders to Observe France Disappearing
PARIS: France’s Ministry of Progressive Policing deployed 70,000 officers Saturday with instructions to behave like shopping-mall security guards whose manager...
Canada Assures Public Government Competent Enough to Decide Who’s Competent
OTTAWA: Canadian officials assured citizens they could responsibly oversee irreversible medical decisions, like Euthanasia Tuesday during a press conference delayed...
ENTERTAINMENT
Manic Monday at the White House as Two Men Lose to Stationary Objects
Two men briefly locked down the White House on Monday after one mistook a sidewalk for a passing lane and...
Republicans Hand Garcia a Blue Balloon, Ask Him to Stay in Storm Drain
Rep. Robert Garcia’s Republican colleagues handed him a blue balloon and asked him to stay in the storm drain after...
Democrats Win Midterms, Accidentally Activate Rosie O’Donnell’s Return Ticket
Democrats celebrated their midterm gains for eleven minutes before Rosie O’Donnell announced she might return to New York, prompting several...
Mark Ruffalo Turns Green After Discovering Team Blue Won Without Consulting Him
Mark Ruffalo celebrated Democratic victories by circulating a petition urging House Democrats to reject Hakeem Jeffries as speaker, giving Team...
SPORTS
Rapinoe Says Sports Aren’t Fair, Objects When Forklift Wins High Jump
Megan Rapinoe defended her Anything Goes Cup Sunday, explaining that because athletes aren't equally talented, organizers might as well stop...
Lost Ravens Fan Joins Broncos Retirement Home Fight After Failing to Locate Chargers Fans
INGLEWOOD, CA: A lost Ravens fan joined a senior citizen Broncos brawl Sunday after mistaking two retirees fighting over a...
Charles Barkley Dunks Left’s Entire Agenda, Activists Demand Lower Hoop
Charles Barkley converted Chris Cuomo’s interview desk into a basketball hoop Tuesday and dunked a progressive policy binder through it,...
NCAA Rejects Football’s Identity as Good Field Goal After Discovering It Follows President Trump
BLACKSBURG, VA — The NCAA rejected Virginia Tech’s football identifying as a successful field goal after investigators discovered it followed...
POLL
MOST POPULAR
© 2025 DailySkrape.com. All Rights Reserved.