WASHINGTON, D.C. — The rebranding is complete. MSNBC has officially become MS NOW, a transformation branding experts are already calling “a masterclass in spending millions to stand perfectly still,” sources have confirmed.
Executives hailed the change as “a bold step into the future,” though insiders admit it’s more like a soft shuffle toward the exit.
The new name reportedly beat out other finalists such as “We Promise We’re Still Relevant,” “Trust Us,” and “The Maddow Cinematic Universe.”
Critics say MS NOW sounds less like a news network and more like a prescription for a newly discovered progressives only disorder — RSD 45/47 (another anti Trump syndrome) — a chronic condition affecting those who blame President Trump for everything, including the weather.
“Ask your doctor if MS NOW is right for you,” joked one media analyst. “Side effects may include selective empathy, spontaneous denial of accountability, and an uncontrollable urge to vote twice on election days.”
The network’s slogan, “Same Mission. New Name,” has been widely translated as “Same Ratings. New Stationery.”
As of press time, executives were reportedly planning a follow-up rebrand called MS NVM — allowing anchors to say ‘never mind’ every time they accidentally tell the truth.
MS NOW = MORE SOCIALISM, NOW
Another version of “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it;s still a pig.”
Does anyone with a modicum of intelligence even listen to them?
I hope NOT 😱