After several high profile mechanical errors with their airplanes, Boeing has announced a new business strategy that will see their planes just drive around on the nation’s highways, sources confirm.
“We really can’t risk putting these suckers up in the air anymore,” said Dave Calhoun, CEO of Boeing. “Instead, we’re just gonna kind of taxi all over the place, and get people where they’re going that way. Sure, it won’t be as quick, but we think getting there in one piece is the most important part of a successful trip, and we here at Boeing are going to do everything we can to make sure the plane you’re in doesn’t fall out of the sky while you’re in it. That’s our promise.”
Customers had mixed feelings about the announcement.
“They’re just gonna drive the planes around like giant buses?” asked local traveler Scott Charles. “Whatever works, I guess. I don’t see how these planes are going to navigate roadways originally meant for cars, but I’m willing to give it a chance. Will I still get Frequent Flyer miles or is this a whole other thing now?”
As of press time, stalled out Boeing planes had caused several major traffic jams throughout the country.
Darn! I’ll probably get stuck behind one in a construction zone. And you know they will drive miles in the left lane at 51 passing another plane doing 50.
What good is taxiing gonna do when the wheels are falling off some planes? Your still taking a chance on Boeing
aircraft. I’ll fly or taxi with Airbus!
Are they going to float or motor us across the oceans??
If Boeing actually hired people with experience and KNEW what they were doing, instead of hiring diverse people who have absolutely no experience, they wouldn’t have to taxi people all over the place. But then woke people don’t always use the best judgement.