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Home Entertainment

New Jersey Sanctuary Policy Enters Emergency Spin Cycle After Crash Injures Mayor’s Wife

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
September 7, 2026
in Entertainment, U.S. News
13
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TRENTON, NJ — New Jersey officials reportedly suffered a full-system malfunction this week after a fleeing immigration suspect crashed into a Democratic mayor’s wife, forcing the sanctuary-state playbook to confront an inconvenient real-world plot twist.

“Call ICE!”



“No, don’t call ICE!”

“They’re already here.”

“Then blame them!”

“Wasn’t this our policy?”

“Why are you asking hostile questions?”

Staffers scattered like chickens in a thunderstorm while aides desperately searched for language that condemned the crash, defended the policy, blamed federal agents, protected the narrative, and preferably meant absolutely nothing.

One person finally asked:

“Is the mayor’s wife okay?”

Everyone froze.

“Put that in the second paragraph.”

The governor’s office unveiled a new emergency protocol:

Step 1: Defend sanctuary policy.
Step 2: Condemn dangerous driving.
Step 3: Blame ICE.
Step 4: Hope nobody asks how Steps 1–3 fit together.

A junior staffer suggested reviewing whether the policy itself contributed to the chaos.

His badge stopped working.

Meanwhile, cable-news panels began debating whether the crash was actually a transportation issue, an immigration issue, a messaging issue, or somehow Trump’s fault.

As of press time, New Jersey had scheduled three committees to determine whether anyone was allowed to admit this looked bad.

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Comments 13

  1. William Ottey says:
    13 hours ago

    ICE ICE 🧊 BABY

    Reply
  2. UglySlippers says:
    12 hours ago

    It’s the Israelis’ fault. Or Trump’s fault.

    Reply
  3. Dennis Hertick says:
    12 hours ago

    It’s the fault of having a sanctuary city allowing illegal aliens to remain and do as they wish, if they had cooperated with ICE, the incident could have been prevented

    Reply
    • Margaret Stanley says:
      11 hours ago

      I agree!!!

      Reply
    • Margaret Stanley says:
      11 hours ago

      I agree!

      Reply
    • Margaret Stanley says:
      11 hours ago

      I totally agree!!!

      Reply
  4. James Reid White says:
    12 hours ago

    Live for others. Do what is fair and just.

    Reply
  5. Jason says:
    12 hours ago

    Isn’t sanctuary cities and states the same as harboring a fugitive?

    Reply
    • Chris Christopher VirtueVirtue says:
      8 hours ago

      Damn right.
      Harboring a criminal and assisting them in evading the law is what Democrats do so very well.
      Sanctuary cities & sanctuary states are all inherently working against the best interests of the American public.
      Vote wisely next November…
      Reject those who want biological males in female only bathrooms.
      Vote for

      Reply
  6. Sue says:
    11 hours ago

    Now that a democrat gets hurt are they going to finally admit that allowing 20-30 Million illegals into our country and neighborhoods was the biggest mistake they ever did to our country and American citizens. Wait to a couple of them get kidnapped or raped or killed. This just proves how stupid and disgusting democrats really are even when it bites them in their own ass.

    Reply
    • N. Wilson Oliver says:
      10 hours ago

      Sue,
      The Democrats violated their oath to the Constitution by NOT defending the borders. Had it been an error of judgment, it would have been bad enough. BUT they cynically saw it as a plan to FLOOD the nation with another VOTING BLOC, whom they could count on to show their appreciation at the BALLOT BOX. They wanted total and forever ONE PARTY RULE at ANY COST, even TREASON. THEY even made sure their propagandists in the media labeled these ILLEGALS “immigrants” to imply there was NO DIFFERENCE between those who entered this nation by following the rules AND permitted CRIMINAL GANGS and VIOLENT CRIMINALS to join the party! Charges of TREASON should be leveled at EVERYONE RESPONSIBLE and face capital punishment for their actions, up to and including past presidents.

      Reply
      • Doug In RU says:
        6 hours ago

        I agree !

        Reply
  7. Tony says:
    11 hours ago

    If one happens to run into me, I’ll put them in the trunk of my car and take a short drive to the governors mansion and nail that SOB to her front door.

    Reply

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