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Home Entertainment

Hollywood Elite Vow to Defend Constitution, Immediately Ask Who Changed the Script

Joe King by Joe King
September 19, 2026
in Entertainment, U.S. News
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HOLLYWOOD, CA — Hollywood’s political elite reportedly gathered this week to solemnly defend the Constitution before realizing halfway through the ceremony that nobody had checked whether everyone on the broader left was still using the same script, sources have confirmed.

The director yelled, “Places!”



Celebrities raised their hands.

LINE ONE: DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION.

Beautiful.

Powerful.

Very Emmy-worthy.

Then an assistant rushed in carrying several proposed structural changes from elsewhere on the political left.

LINE TWO: WE HAVE EDITS.

Everyone froze.

One actor adjusted his glasses.

“Wait. Are we defending it or rewriting it?”

“Both.”

“Emotionally?”

“Politically.”

“What’s Line Three?”

The teleprompter blinked.

I FORGOT.

Panic erupted.

One celebrity demanded his motivation.

Another asked whether abolishing parts of the government was supposed to happen before or after the oath.

A veteran actor began dramatically mumbling something about democracy until the boom operator whispered, “Bob, nobody understands you.”

“Perfect,” said the director.

“Keep rolling.”

Producers quickly renamed the project CONSTITUTION: THE DIRECTOR’S CUT, featuring the original document, several deleted scenes, and an entirely different ending depending on who wins Congress.

By lunch, everyone agreed the Constitution was sacred, indispensable, outdated, under attack, and desperately in need of notes.

As of press time, Hollywood was still searching for Line Three while the Constitution stubbornly refused to join SAG.

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Comments 9

  1. Steve Donohue says:
    1 day ago

    ROFL! Thanks for the wake-up chuckle. Why any attention or credence goes to an actor looking for nothing but adulation is beyond me.

    Reply
  2. Tuna says:
    1 day ago

    Just another Hollywood TDS party with cocktails.

    Reply
  3. Richard says:
    1 day ago

    These Leftist Democratic Socialists elites from Hollywood continue to preach against the Constitution because they are brainwashed incompetents and get their money from the Communists and push their lies!!

    Reply
  4. Will Woodcock says:
    1 day ago

    Good posting, crazy how some think actors are real thinkers!

    Reply
  5. Joe Modarots says:
    1 day ago

    How any one work group, and thats all Hollywood actors are, just one out of a thousand other groups in the labor force, can be SO blessed, to earn SO much, live SO well, be SO celebrated and SO accoladed by all and spend SO much time BITCHING about the very systems that made it all SO possible for them, is beyond the comprehension of this man’s human mind !

    Reply
    • BFF says:
      1 day ago

      well put

      Reply
  6. Elaine Lee says:
    1 day ago

    A shoutout! I look forward every day to reading you & especially love the pics. I enlarge them to see every delicious detail.

    Reply
  7. Patrick says:
    1 day ago

    🤣🤣🤣 why anyone would care what Hollywood has to say is beyond me!

    Reply
  8. Pia says:
    1 day ago

    It would help if those Leftists would defend OUR Constitution.

    Reply

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