HOLLYWOOD: With November approaching, Hollywood millionaires launched Survivor: Beverly Hills, a revolutionary competition demanding the rich pay, provided someone else qualifies as rich, sources have confirmed.
Robert De Niro opened auditions by condemning capitalism from a podium built from vacation homes.
“Workers deserve control of production!” he shouted, before firing a lighting technician for adjusting production.
Mark Ruffalo arrived in distressed jeans distressed by six proletarians.
Building on his voting rights rally warning, he threatened to “Hulk out” after Trump said “good morning.”
“GOOD FOR WHO?” Ruffalo screamed.
“My democracy doesn’t recognize your fascist sunrise!”
Unfortunately, without Marvel’s effects department, he merely turned pink and pulled something opening kombucha.
Contestants earned immunity by denouncing billionaires while transferring royalties to Monaco.
Asking whether socialism included their own mansions meant elimination and a Medicare commercial.
Veteran actresses insisted the revolution kept them young, although 376 facelifts had relocated their eyebrows into another congressional district.
One billed her latest procedure as historic preservation.
De Niro celebrated the movement’s grassroots turnout until payroll revealed every supporter was somebody’s assistant.
When actual voters declined to join, Hollywood announced audiences would be canceled and replaced with more supportive audiences, pending financing from capitalism.
As of press time, Ruffalo had declared war on Trump’s “sleep well,” calling it an authoritarian attempt to silence Americans for eight hours.
