LONDON — After becoming more parody than public service, the BBC has announced the resignation of Director Tim Davie and his executive team, following what insiders are calling “the most accidental display of accountability in network history,” sources have confirmed.
Davie, who reportedly “lost several words while saying nothing,” told staff his departure was due to “deep reflection and light public humiliation.”
Before packing up his teleprompter, he approved the BBC’s bold new rebrand — a 24-hour Trump Apology Channel aimed at “restoring public trust by pretending to have some.”
The network’s first feature, “Truth in Journalism,” will be narrated by an AI-generated holographic Abraham Lincoln who materializes every 10 minutes to sigh, roll his digital eyes, and whisper, “Fake news isn’t free speech.”
BBC executives insist the hologram “represents our new commitment to honesty, history, and non-binary lighting.”
Early promos also tease upcoming specials like “Apologies Across the Pond” and a three-part series titled “How To Avoid Allowing Leftist Influence,” rumored to show future journalists how to do things like research, use full interviews, and be honest even if the truth hurts
As of press time, the BBC confirmed that the holographic Lincoln has already been fact-checked for “excessive honesty” and suspended pending diversity training.
