LOS ANGELES, CA — The highly annoyed CEO of Crowds on Demand — a company literally built on renting fake protesters — has issued a stern warning about “paid agitators infiltrating protests,” sources have confirmed.
The warning comes just days after the CEO reportedly lost the multimillion-dollar No Kings contract to a rival firm, Woke Protests Unlimited.
After receiving his so-called “warning,” Republicans were quick to point out that he’s not exposing corruption — he’s just bitter he lost the gig.
“He’s basically confirming what we already knew,” said one GOP strategist. “Their outrage is so fake it comes with a warranty and a money-back guarantee.”
The upcoming No Kings protest, billed as the “Broadway of woke tantrums,” will reportedly feature failed actors, emotional support coaches, and a pre-approved playlist titled “Safe Sounds for Safe Spaces.”
Participants are promised $50, a complimentary participation candle, and a free 711 beanie baby.
Industry observers say the CEO’s warning about agitators is “less a public service, more a breakup text.”
“He’s just mad he got underbid,” said one source.
“He even tried to call the organizers and offer half-price rage.”
Republicans called the entire production “a typical woke tantrum with corporate sponsorship,” while others noted the irony:
“Only in 2025 can a man make millions renting outrage — and still complain about competition.”
As of press time, the bitter CEO was reportedly seen staging a solo protest outside his office holding a sign that read, “Hire Local Outrage.”
What comes around goes around
I wish we could arrest them all.
It’s a shame we don’t have judges with balls.And we could make this protester stay in jail for a minimum of ninety days , each
I am amazed ! Where does free speech begin and end. When what you are doing is nothing but treason/ violence. While living off of the people who are holding down jobs While most of you are on welfare . Which belongs only to real Americans No one who has a full time job and bills can spend their time in the streets . How anyone who is for “”HIRE”” against their own people and country .Can think the rest of us will tolerate you forever ? All of you are the fools they use . What you are doing is not free speech. And not one thing you are doing is for America But for our enemies. How ? Can they call themselves Americans! Over 88% of those of you who are rioting and murdering and burning down towns and destroying our monuments. Are illegals. Who have no ancestors who died for our freedoms or country. Apparently those of you who call yourself Antifa and BLM are not Americans. And you too should be deported or hanged for treason. Not one thing Is for America or black people .,
Aligning yourselves for money with the very people who are using you to kill your own people. All I can say . Is ! You will be the people next on our enemies list . You are selling your soul and your country and fellow Americans . Well ! Ask ? Do you think you can be trusted by those you hire yourself out to ? After your treason against your own !
I have another question ! If our government has now declared Antifa terrorists . Why are they being allowed to have a “”Hate America“” gathering ?
Fellow Americans wake up ! Our enemies are our own people. We as real Americans must stand against our people who are calling for our deaths I pray For Gods intervention for his children. There is no cure for stupidity!