A local haunted house has been outed as merely a house filled with drug addicts whose owner was charging five bucks for locals to take a “spooky” tour through, sources confirm.
“I thought something was fishy about that so-called haunted house,” said recent participant Jessie Morgan, shortly after walking through the dilapidated building. “Don’t get me wrong, it was the most scared I’ve ever been, but it wasn’t like werewolves and zombies and stuff, it was more like telling people I didn’t have any change and stepping over needles. Really intense stuff. You gotta try it for yourself!”
Despite protests from some in the neighborhood, the homeowner defended his right to participate in holiday festivities.
“Look, we’re not hurting anybody,” said Joe Oliver, owner of the alleged crack house. “I’m just charging local kids a fiver to walk around the house, and if they happen to see an overdose that scars them for life, well then, they see an overdose that scars them for life. Happy Halloween! I feel like many people are just coming down on me because my haunted house blows theirs out of the water.”
As of press time, Oliver urged Trick or Treaters to avoid his house this year, as always.
I’m only charging 5 bucks to raise money for my criminal defense. If pop had stayed in the race,I could have used the dough for more crack and hookers for me!!
You entitled retard! You give us socialist commies a bad reputation! Why not open a legit whorehouse in Nevada or something and stay off the radar?
Uhhh,… Maybe being a entitled retard has something to do with it?