JERUSALEM — Arab Christians, Muslims, Jews, Druze, and other Israelis reportedly held a rare unity press conference this week to ask American DSA members and leftist campus activists one simple question: “What the hell are you talking about?” sources have confirmed.
The confusion began after another group of Western activists explained Israel to people who live there, insisting the country is a one-dimensional villainous movie set where every citizen apparently wakes up, reads propaganda, and waits for a Brooklyn sociology major to liberate them by mispronouncing three cities.
“This is fascinating,” said one Arab Christian shop owner.
“I went to work, paid taxes, argued with my cousin, bought groceries, and somehow an American with a nose ring says I don’t exist.”
A Muslim Israeli nurse said she was especially surprised to learn from college protesters that her hospital, coworkers, patients, paycheck, and entire life were apparently a Zionist hallucination.
DSA officials responded by forming an Emergency Reality Avoidance Committee, explaining that firsthand experience from actual Israelis can be deeply harmful when it contradicts a protest chant printed last Thursday.
“We stand with all voices,” said one activist, “except the voices from the actual country explaining that our slogan is nonsense.”
By noon, leftist groups had updated their map of Israel to include only three labels:
Oppression, Vibes, and Place We Will Explain From Brooklyn.
As of press time, Israelis of every background had asked activists to stop speaking for them until they could successfully identify Israel, Palestine, Egypt, and “the Mediterranean Sea” without help from a TikTok post.


All of the Elistist campuses need to be re-educated!
Im not surprised…
My entire life over educated , over funded, over elite , over liberal, over white, white people have been telling black people what it is to be black right here in this country !
In fact, a couple of years ago one of them even told black people what it’s like for black people NOT to be black…
I believe his exact words were ,” If you don’t vote for me, you ain’t black ! “
I guess black people stopped believing them so they had to find somebody else (ie. Israelis)
to preach to and con for their own benefit !
The Dems love to label Trump as the second coming of Hitler, and conservatives, evil fascists, but the anti-semitism that is slowly creeping into the Democratic Party really makes them the racists.
Yet the Jews in New York City will continue to vote for Democrats because honestly, they themselves are also leftist and mindless.
First, John, Im going to assume that your heart is in the right place…
But, actually John, dishonestly,” Yet the Jews in New York City“ “they themselves are also leftist and mindless.”
Honestly, the leftists in New York City may be mindless. And, honestly, some of them may be Jewish. But, honestly, John, to lump all “Jews in New York City “ together in the context that you did sounds a little too close to the antisemitic shit that “ The Jews in New York City “ and elsewhere in the world are already having to deal with !
Does it have to be “anti-Semitic”? Can’t it just be “wrong”? It doesn’t take on some new level of evil because it’s not only wrong but also wrong about Jews. Also, Arabs are Semitic peoples, too.
Beth,
Actually, yeah it does ! And downplaying it to be only as “wrong” as any other “wrong” in general, doesn’t help or change that !
Please spare us the “Arabs are Semitic” nonsense. When people spout anti-Semitic drivel, we know damn well who they are talking about.
The Left is crazy. If you prefer a more lofty description it’s psychotic. The whole lot of them.
This is funny but only representative of a smalll number of very stupid people that call themselves leftist. As a leftisst myself I know absolutely nobody that confuses the actiions of the Israeli government with the Israeli people. That is tantamount to thinking all Americans are stupid and arrogant like Trump.
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Spot on Joe Modarots, I couldn’t have said it any better! JESUS said you will know them by their deeds! The Heavens Declare The Glory Of GOD & JESUS Is His Answer! Always Trust in JESUS! Mel Foote, Ret. TSgt, USAF
Please stop the “Arabs are Semitic” nonsense. When people spout anti-Semitic drivel, we know damn well who they are talking about.