TALLAHASSEE, FL — Democratic strategists entered emergency lockdown Tuesday after Alexander Vindman lost Florida’s Senate primary despite deploying the party’s trusted campaign strategy of saying “Trump” every seventeen seconds, sources have confirmed.
Vindman reportedly outspent his opponent ten-to-one while running on a sophisticated four-point platform:
Trump.
Impeachment.
More Trump.
Something that rhymes with “peaches.”
When voters asked what came next, campaign staff discovered the binder was empty.
Meanwhile, DSA-backed candidates quietly slipped through the party’s back door carrying boxes labeled FREE EVERYTHING, SOMEONE ELSE PAYS, and MAMDANI ECONOMICS HOME EDITION.
Establishment Democrats finally noticed when socialists changed the Wi-Fi password and replaced the donkey logo with a raised fist.
“This is concerning,” whispered one consultant.
“We were so busy resisting Trump we forgot to resist the people taking our party.”
Republicans watched from lawn chairs across the street.
One asked whether they should intervene.
Another passed the popcorn.
“No. Let them cook.”
The DNC immediately launched a $40 million initiative called Beyond Trump, promising bold new ideas for America.
Reporters opened the strategy folder.
It contained one page.
It said “Trump” in larger font.
As of press time, establishment Democrats were still yelling “impeachment” while the DSA changed the locks and forwarded their mail.
That is what the people want is somebody that is going to fight for them and the DSA is, and it is not so radical to figure on having universal health Care and food stamps and the government that works for the people and not just for the billionaires and the billionaire corporations, and not for Israel the number one state sponsor of terrorism
Israel, the number one state sponsor of terrorism???
Come on Jim, stop listening to the Hassan Piker podcasts. The very fact that the state of Israel has been able to survive, (and thrive,) for the he past 78 years surrounded by other states that want to drive them into the sea, is a testament to their ingenuity and fortitude.
Yes, there are Israeli settlers that are racist bad actors, but every military incursion Israel has undertaken has been a response to a prior attack or a preemptive strike to prevent an attack. Hopefully, you also don’t believe that the U.S. “deserved” the attacks on 9/11/01.
Jim does not have a clue about how the world works. Socialism and communism have been tried numerous times and they have never worked. Jim, if you want Communism, move to China or Cuba…see how you like it.
I don’t know the age of previous commenter Jim Burnett, but like him, there are enough young people willing to support the policies of the DSA that
screams “ Dismiss those ideas at your own risk.”
Despite the fact that “wiser opinions” realize the DSA platform is financially untenable, and true Socialism has been shown repeatedly to be a failure; there are enough disgruntled voters out there willing to take a risk on the DSA because they feel the current system is broken, so why not try something new? On a compassionate scale what Jim Burnett said is true, “What’s wrong with universal healthcare and food stamps?” The only problem is most people are not that compassionate, and they’re not going to want to give up their hard earned cash to support these programs, and the federal government is too incompetent to provide this kind of social safety net without drowning further into debt,(40 trillion and counting.)