Obama, Joe Biden, and Ilhan Omar walked into a wedding chapel Thursday and requested seating for the paperwork, sources have confirmed.
The officiant opened a folder.
“This investigation started in 2016.”
Obama stopped smiling.
“Let’s not make this about who was president.”
Biden reached for the folder.
“I can close that.”
“You haven’t read it.”
“That’s how you keep an open mind.”
Omar asked whether the chapel offered ceremonies without questions.
“Usually,” said the officiant.
“But you brought two presidents and a document shredder shaped like a wedding cake.”
Obama explained that scrutiny was essential to democracy until it became inconvenient to Democrats, at which point it required a national conversation about scrutiny.
The officiant asked who was getting married.
“We’re still workshopping the messaging,” an aide replied.
A reporter mentioned the disputed marriage allegations.
Omar denied wrongdoing.
Biden helpfully declared the matter closed, accidentally shutting his own jacket inside the filing cabinet.
Obama requested the photographer crop out anything dated before Trump.
The chapel organist began playing Here Comes the Bride.
Staff demanded Here Comes the Context.
Guests received rice with every grain individually redacted.
The officiant finally asked if anyone knew a lawful reason to stop proceedings.
As of press time, all three had objected to the question and demanded the chapel investigate whoever booked the chapel.
I just AFTER TRUMP BECAME PRESIDENT, I REALIZED WHAT A PRESIDENT REALLY WAS ??? BECAUSE MOST OF THE PRESIDENTS BEFORE AND ESPECIALLY THE ONE AFTER TRUMPS FIRST TERM WE’RE NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING A COFFEE BOY ! ! ! THEY CHEATED THEIR WAY INTO THE WHITE HOUSE AND MADE THEMSELVES RICH . . . BEYOND RICH ! ! ! AND WHEN THEIR LIPS MOVED, THEY WERE LYING !
AND WHAT A JOKE THIS ELHAN OMAR HAS BEEN AND I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S PLAYING IT OFF LIKE USUAL, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE THAT SHE DOESN’T LIKE SHE IGNORES AND PRETENDS IT DIDN’T HAPPEN BECAUSE SHE’S FROM SOMALIA AND NOBODY’S TOUGHER THAN HER ???? TOO BAD SHE MARRIED HER BROTHER LIED ON THE APPLICATION AND NOT ONLY YOUR FATHER, BUT THE WHOLE FAMILY WERE WAR CRIMINALS FLEEING SOMALIA TO RAID THE UNITED STATES AND STEAL AS MUCH MONEY AS THEY CAN !!! I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS SEND HER BACK !!!
JAIL FIRST. THEN SOMALIA.
Truthfully. Jail first for all of them and the cover up!! Them deportation and if we’re lucky enough and justice prevails she’ll be a very old ugly hag before she gets out of jail and deported
After wedding her brother, Omar, Obama and Biden walk into a bar…
The bartender says ;
“ Get the fuck out ! “