OTTAWA: Canadian officials assured citizens they could responsibly oversee irreversible medical decisions, like Euthanasia Tuesday during a press conference delayed because the minister kept trying to unmute a sandwich, sources have confirmed.
“We have extremely rigorous safeguards,” he announced once an aide located the microphone.
Asked to explain them, he pointed toward a binder.
The binder contained lunch menus.
“That’s the public-facing version.”
Officials promised every difficult case would receive the same careful attention Canadians expect from agencies that lose applications submitted through their own websites.
A concerned citizen asked who would oversee the overseers.
“Another office.”
“And who oversees that office?”
The minister requested a longer podium.
Meanwhile, progressive Canadians began heading south after discovering “government should stay out of personal decisions” wasn’t exclusively a Republican sentence.
One activist arrived at the border carrying a reusable tote full of previous positions.
“Purpose of your visit?” asked an officer.
“Distance.”
Back in Ottawa, a consultant unveiled a flowchart demonstrating accountability.
Every arrow led to someone on vacation.
The minister nevertheless insisted public confidence remained his highest priority, immediately behind avoiding personal responsibility for anything requiring public confidence.
As of press time, officials had reassured Canadians that no decision would be taken lightly, then awarded the oversight contract to the lowest bidder.
OH CANADA was a great place to escape to as sympathetically stated by such egg heads as Whoopie Goldberg, Sandra Surandin, Jane Fonda, and other Hollywood jerks when Trump got elected. But they are still here!!! Then Billy Clinton went to England to avoid the Vietnam draft. OH CANADA, very nice country until Liberals / Socialists took over and the border is harder to access for many
At least Canada doesn’t pretend they aren’t trying to kill you.
I left there 33 years ago – not much has changed except they are overt now.