Biden’s Last-Minute Treasury Perk for Crime Family

In a last-minute move just before leaving office, President Biden has reportedly approved full immunity for the Biden family to siphon money directly from the U.S. Treasury, sources have confirmed.

Dubbed a “parting gift” to himself and his relatives, this decision allows the Biden crime family unfettered access to the national coffers.

The unprecedented directive, quickly labeled as the “Biden Bonanza,” was signed off with barely a minute to spare, turning the usual painstaking process of budget approvals into a virtual family ATM. “It’s about keeping it in the family,” a close aide was overheard saying, adding a new layer of meaning to fiscal policy.

Critics have blasted the move as the ultimate conflict of interest, suggesting the Treasury might as well be renamed “The Biden Trust Fund.” Meanwhile, supporters have dismissed the outcry as overblown, describing the initiative as merely “expediting family matters.”

The Treasury Department has been swift to react, quietly introducing a new “Biden Line” at their headquarters, ensuring that the First Family’s transactions are as seamless as their transition out of office.

As of press time, Treasury officials were spotted updating the security codes on the vault, reportedly to something only the Biden family could possibly forget.