Maryland residents emptied their pockets after Governor Wes Moore hinted at joining the 2028 presidential conversation, only to discover Annapolis had already collected the lint, sources have confirmed.
Moore’s suggestion triggered emergency alerts across the state reading, “Potential National Ambition Detected. Please Secure Your Wallet.”
Within minutes, taxpayers began hiding change inside Old Bay cans, crab traps, and potholes the state had no plans to inspect.
State accountants estimated that a Moore presidential exploration could require seventeen exploratory committees, forty consultants, six inspirational documentaries, and a taxpayer-funded bus wrapped in the governor’s headshot.
The bus would never leave Maryland, officials explained, because crossing state lines requires another feasibility study.
At a Baltimore press conference, Moore assured residents that his ambitions wouldn’t cost them anything beyond an ambition surcharge, a leadership convenience fee, and an increase in the fee-processing fee.
One Maryland father turned his jeans pockets inside out and found only a property-tax notice, three speed-camera tickets, and a blueprint for another bridge nobody remembered ordering.
Meanwhile, Virginia installed a welcome sign reading, “Marylanders Fleeing Additional Conversations May Merge Left.”
Moore insisted no decision had been made, then unveiled a podium, campaign lighting, and a license plate costing $202.8.
As of press time, Maryland had applied for overdraft protection after learning the bigger conversation includes appetizers, consultants, and valet parking.
