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Home Politics

Democrats Cheer as Joe Biden Narrowly Wins One Man Race

Joe King by Joe King
May 9, 2024
in Politics
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Democrats Cheer as Joe Biden Narrowly Wins One Man Race
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Democrats gathered and cheered earlier today as President Joe Biden narrowly won a race in which he was the only participant.

“You’re doing an incredible job, Joe!” screamed Vice President Kamala Harris from her spot at the finish line, over which Joe Biden collapsed at the completion of his quarter mile run. “The way you technically won because there were no other competitors sure was inspiring. Look out Republicans, we’ve got a guy we’re not allowed to criticize that can be blown over by a stiff wind. You wish you had someone this skilled!”



Despite the celebration of Democrats, others insisted the accomplishment was not significant.

“They’re gonna have another thing coming the second Joe Biden has to run against literally anyone else,” said local resident Wayne Harris. “You don’t have to be the world’s biggest track and field fan to know that winning a one person race isn’t an accomplishment worth feeling good about. I tried telling this to people in the crowd, but they insisted I was a fascist. Call me what you will, but Biden was huffing and puffing and had to crawl across the finish line. He doesn’t stand a chance against any actual opponents.”

As of press time, everyone that was in attendance received a participation trophy.

Tags: Bidenelection
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Comments 5

  1. Philp Simon says:
    2 years ago

    How can Biden win when he is the only racer to run, run far away.

    Reply
  2. Rick says:
    2 years ago

    That is pretty doggone bad when you “BARELY” win a race with no competitor

    Reply
  3. Robert says:
    2 years ago

    Aaaaaahhhh the stupidity of democrats on full display!!!!!🫳🏽💩💩

    Reply
  4. Loretta says:
    2 years ago

    And this is the President (stolen election) of the United States?God help America!

    Reply
  5. Col. Haywood G. Blomey (ret.) says:
    2 years ago

    Fake News. He fell down and never made it!

    Reply

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