An elderly couple was spotted at a local candy store buying all of the absolute last candy you’d ever hope to receive on Halloween, sources confirmed.
“Can I get that sack of candy corn? The giant one?” asked Herb Moore, local grandfather, while purchasing candy for him and his wife Gladys to hand out on Halloween evening. “And I’ll take all the circus peanuts you have, and ooh, do you have any of those weird peanut butter chews in the orange and black wrappers? Everyone just loves those.”
Word of the Moore’s underwhelming selection of candy quickly spread throughout the neighborhood.
“Doesn’t surprise me, older people always give out the worst candy,” said local youth Dylan Parker. “People think it’s all about going to rich neighborhoods to get the best candy, but they’re wrong, you really just have to avoid the elderly. Unless you want to get stuck sucking on peppermints and butterscotch disks all November. Frankly, I’d rather eat an apple with a razor blade in it.”
As of press time, the Moore’s were last seen at home, making some homemade popcorn balls that nobody could possibly want.
Ah yes! Remember “the good old days” when perverts put razor blades in apples?
I love candy corn. Always have.
Loose candy corn, from a community bowl ? Are you crazy . Parents are encouraged to throw out unwrapped candy. It also comes in individual packets, but they are hard to find.
Evidently, I am crazy. I love candy corn and its derivatives. Always have. Have a bowl on the buffet right now. Half peanut butter cups, and half unwrapped “Harvest Mix” Gasp! 😳 I’ve been tempting fate as long as I can remember. Made 3 score and 10 without individually wrapped candy, bicycle helmets, or face masks.
Yeah, leave unwrapped candy out overnight. Every roach on fhe planet will have walked all over it by morning!
I remember all that awful candy, plus people who would give a loose handful of stale popcorn.