Joe Biden, the 46th President of the United States, reportedly wandered off again, once again turning up at a nearby tire outlet, sources have confirmed.
“Wow, look at all these bad boys,” said Biden, who recently removed himself from the upcoming election after a dismal debate performance renewed focus on his age and competence. “I like the way they feel, and I also like the way they smell. Every time I ask to stop somewhere and check out the tires, everyone tells me we don’t have time for that sort of thing. Well, I’m the president, damn it, and I say I’m looking at tires today.”
Employees of the tire store have sadly grown accustomed to Biden’s presence.
“He comes in here a few times a week,” said Discount Tire manager Brian Hampton. “It’s weird, sure, since he’s the President and everything, but he stopped smelling the children that came in and ever since then, he’s been harmless. He just keeps to himself and mumbles things about the tires, mostly.”
As of press time, the president had been captured and returned to the White House, against his will.
Biden refuses to leave until they give him that ice cream cone that all tire stores provide.