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Home U.S. News

FBI Director Kash Patel Sues The Atlantic for $250 Million After They Consulted Their Imaginary Friends for News

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
April 20, 2026
in U.S. News
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In a shocking development that has left the legacy media clutching their pearls, FBI Director Kash Patel filed a $250 million defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic and reporter Sarah Fitzpatrick for publishing a “sweeping, malicious hit piece” that claimed he enjoys the occasional drink and might lose his job, sources have confirmed.

The left is up to its old tricks again — inventing wild stories using their favorite anonymous sources, also known as “imaginary friends who totally exist and definitely aren’t just voices in the newsroom.”



According to The Atlantic, Patel’s career is hanging by a thread because of “bouts of excessive drinking” and “unexplained absences,” citations that appear to have been sourced from a combination of wishful thinking, leftover Hillary Clinton talking points, and a Magic 8-Ball.

Legal experts say the lawsuit is destined to succeed, meaning the only thing The Atlantic will have successfully accomplished is writing a very expensive future deposit slip into Director Patel’s bank account.

When the massive settlement inevitably drops, expect the usual leftist melodrama: dramatic whining about how “unfair” the justice system is, claims that their brave anonymous sources mysteriously vanished like carnival magicians behind a puff of rainbow smoke, and loud demands for a “national conversation” about why billionaires can’t just smear public officials for free anymore.

As of press time, The Atlantic was reportedly working on a follow-up story titled “Kash Patel’s Dangerous Sobriety Is a Threat to Democracy,” citing three anonymous sources who definitely aren’t the same guy in the mirror.

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Comments 6

  1. shayne says:
    2 months ago

    One would think, by now, that reporters should know to be extremely careful when they plan to write a hit piece… I would think that’s Journalism 101. 🤣😂 Perhaps her degree is better suited for novel writing…

    Reply
  2. PETER R. GROVE says:
    2 months ago

    Wow Just another Communist hit piece against the people they fear the most. Kash Patel is a great Patriot and well deserving of our support. We can only hope Kash Patel’s lawsuit against this Communist RAG is successful. Just another Communist assault on our Republic

    Reply
  3. Kevin Rodgers says:
    2 months ago

    “Legal experts say the lawsuit is destined to succeed”, meaning that whoever wrote this has no understanding of how libel laws work. Patel, just as Trump recently learned in the dismissal of his $10 Billion libel suit against the WSJ, will learn the hard way that he has opened himself to lines of inquiry which will not paint a very flattering picture of our head of the FBI. This case is a sure loser for Patel.

    Reply
  4. Kim Felton says:
    2 months ago

    In the case of libel, he has to ‘prove’ they they knowingly pubished a story that his not true. Not an easy thing to do. BUT throwing a $250 million dollar lawsuit at it will make sure that any future story checks the boxes. Lose or not, its a win for making sure that the industry stays true. Lawsuits are pushback, not always won but pushback against the very machine that it has become. I pray that he wins, but again, not an easy one to prove, without a whisle-blower testimony that can also be validated that isn’t just ‘words’. Written proof is not easy to find … as we are all learning about Eptiein files, and all that was done in the Biden and Obama years. Written proof. Even the dumbest of politicians know not to write anything down that would burn them later. Video evidence of someone saying something that they didn’t know was on record, is often how these ones unfold. We’ll see. I’ll get my popcorn but don’t see anything happening with this one other than Patel’s life being put under a microscope. I hope he’s up to the view.

    Reply
    • E. Knippel says:
      2 months ago

      ‘Even the dumbest of politicians know not to write anything down that would burn them later.”
      What does that say about Ilhan Omar?

      Reply
  5. Bob Jones says:
    2 months ago

    BRAVO to Kash Patel for fighting back against the worthless , liberal knee pad wearing , asswipes of the Atlantic !!!!! These liberal degenerate , so called news agency’s need to get hit back . However it turns out ,,, it will still cost the worthless Atlantic major bucks !!!

    Reply

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