WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following criticism from Bill Maher, EX-VP-turned-author Kamala Harris has reportedly doubled down by announcing a Broadway-style adaptation of her new memoir, “Everyone Sucks But Me,” sources have confirmed.
The production—described by insiders as “a cross between Hamilton and a group therapy session gone wrong”—will feature Harris performing interpretive jazz numbers explaining how she lost to Trump in 2024 due to “bad vibes” and “America’s lack of chakra alignment.”
Gavin Newsom and Hillary Clinton are slated to appear as The Ghosts of Elections Past, offering soulful backup vocals on the ballad, “It Was Russia, I Swear.”
Producers say each act concludes with Kamala laughing uncontrollably for 47 seconds before whispering, “Where am I? Why didn’t I win?” before being given her meds and an escort off stage.
Critics call it “a masterclass in self-delusion,” comparing it to “The Great Gatsby and Bullwinkle combined — it leaves you confused,” while audiences are encouraged to bring tissues—though not for emotion, but to wipe away the tears of secondhand embarrassment.
As of press time, Harris was reportedly pitching a film version titled “Everyone Sucks But Me 2: The Blame Awakens.”
The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show was a classic compared to anything Kamala – especially the segment “Fractured Fairy Tales” !
Spot on Pia !
Rocky & Bullwinkle’s “ Fractured Fairy Tales…”
What a perfect Metaphor for Kamala Harris !
Three blind asshole losers that can’t relate to the American people hating you. Losers stick together just like a basket of deplorable’s. They will never admit they are failures to themselves and except their not wanted as leaders. Losers always blame everyone else for their own failures and disgrace. All three of them never accomplished anything but failures and lying to the American people. Find new careers before you go to prison for all your corruption.
Ask artist to spell “everyone” correctly