HONOLULU — Hawaii Lt. Gov. Sylvia Luke reportedly pleaded not guilty to basic math this week, explaining that COVID relief money was always meant to be shared, and she merely misunderstood “the public” to mean “people sitting near me at expensive steakhouses,” sources have confirmed.
Luke told reporters that Hawaii is expensive, making corruption less of a crime and more of a cost-of-living adjustment for elected officials.
“Have you seen beachfront prices?” she allegedly asked while unveiling the state’s new Bribery Assistance Program.
“A public servant cannot survive on salary, benefits, pension, campaign donations, free dinners, and the spiritual nourishment of unchecked power alone.”
Democratic consultants immediately defended Luke, arguing that funneling taxpayer money toward politically connected testing operations created jobs, mostly for accountants, defense attorneys, campaign treasurers, and men whose title is “close personal friend.”
Party leaders also urged the public not to rush to judgment until every incriminating check had been reclassified as community outreach, culturally sensitive bookkeeping, or an undocumented act of aloha.
Republicans criticized the scheme, then injured themselves laughing.
Luke has since proposed lowering Hawaii’s crushing costs by banning grocery stores from displaying prices and declaring anything under $40 “basically free.”
As of press time, state Democrats were testing a new defense claiming the money was asymptomatic, airborne, and somehow spread directly into campaign accounts.
This women is a total 🔥 flaming asshole & shouldn’t be in any government position .
This woman is a flaming jersey & shouldn’t hold any government position.
Agree, But All Democrats & Some Republicans Lie, & Steal Your Money.
Starting With This Hawaii LT. Governor, All These Politicans Should Be Executed Immediately To Stop This FRAUD From Spreading.
This woman is a flaming jerk & shouldn’t hold any government position.
This woman is a flaming jerk & shouldn’t hold any government position.
The hardest thing an American has to do in life is find an honest Demoncrat as they don’t exist ,kinda like finding a unicorn .
YES
Amen
I suppose the Lt. Gov. thought the laws regarding state use of COVID relief money only applied in the contiguous states !
Well these corrupt Democrats are showing just how corrupt and unlawful they really are, they think they can break the law and get away with it. But the way I look at it if they don’t do any jail time, neither does any US citizen that they said broke, the law can’t have two different laws for two different groups of people.
The real surprise is that the voters in the deep blue states keep returning the Dems to office
Who voted for this person. Publish the names please !
What in the ever loving hell is this woman really thinking?? And who in the ever loving hell believes the gibberish lies she’s spewing????
As much as this pisses me of, I am fully aware this is not solely a demonrat issue. I don’t trust any elected or appointed leader to be completely above board with their finances. The kickbacks, campaign donations and insider trading schemes run rampant throughout government. Situations like this show them where mistakes where made and then they can update their plan to avoid making the same mistakes.
ROD. (Reply Of the Day).