President Joe Biden mistakenly turned up in the Amazon rainforest after misunderstanding instructions to meet with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, sources have confirmed.
“Where the heck is he?” asked Biden, shaking a tree in Northern Bolivia, right in the heart of the Amazon. “It was his crazy idea to do this thing in the Amazon, and now the son of a bitch is standing me up? What the heck did I fly to South America for this stupid Amazon meeting if Bezos isn’t even going to be here?”
Despite the worrying mix-up, Biden’s aides insisted the confusion could’ve happened to anyone.
“No, everything remains fine with the President’s cognitive abilities,” said Eugene Normand, one of Biden’s top aides. “I think we all still get Amazon the website mixed up with Amazon the rainforest. Could’ve happened to any one of us. Which one spans nine countries in South America and which one shows Thursday Night Football? I swear, I can never remember!”
As of press time, the President has been hospitalized following an unsuccessful attempt at subduing and petting a tiger that he saw.
Damn good thing bezero didn’t name his bookstore “Antarctica” way back in 1994.
Actually, Biden’s injuries did not come from him petting a tiger. The chimpanzee’s mother caused the injuries when stopping Biden from sniffing her baby.
I thought he was biting the monkeys foot
This is ridiculous! No way the Air Force would fly Biden all the way to the Amazon without calling ahead first. Duh! Or maybe the democrats meant for aforementioned animals to kill hapless joe, so they could lay claim to first multiracial female hooker as president. Hmmmmmm.
I am going to assume you are kidding.
Will the real Dakotajoe please stand up?
Dakotajoe, You have hit nail square on it’s head.
What makes this funny is the way the aides try to normalize it.
Are you the guy who Boffs half eaten chicken wings?
Psst! Hey, Joe. Es no tiger, that tiger. Is Tigre, El Tigre. Ju know, the Haguar you call the Jag-u-ar. No, not the car. No, Joe, do not try to ride him. NO!, Joe! That is not the steek shift; no, you do not pull ears to signal turn. Is protected gato, you know? Loco gringo vallejo. We should send heem to Peru, and let him piss off the Cholitos.
On Air Force 1. He was overheard saying, ” I don’t get all this talk about a Tiger. When I done
with my speach I had to take a hell of a Whizz. I didn’t see any whis rooms so I went looking
for a whiz bush. Just think what they would be saying if I had pee running down my leg.
I had pee running down my leg reading about the abused half eaten chicken wings!!!