As a local murder trial entered its second week, a local jury member came to the sudden realization that he hadn’t been following any of the trial’s key events so far, sources have confirmed.
“Oh wait, now who’s this guy,” Juror #5 was heard whispering to the women next to him, as the defendant’s father testified about the whereabouts of the defendant on the night of the murders. “I dozed off the other morning and now I’m totally lost. This is awful. I feel like I’m stuck in a bad dream. Can I copy off of your notes?”
Word of the juror’s perplexion spread to the trial’s key players.
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” said public defendant Joseph Alberts. “The criminal justice system just doesn’t work. The rest of my client’s life depends on those 12 people over there, and I heard that guy snoring three different times this week. Why are we letting any idiot off the street determine how the wheels of justice turn?”
As of press time, Juror #5 had excused himself to the bathroom and never came back, causing a delay in the trial as authorities searched for him.
