WASHINGTON — Democrats were plunged into emergency confusion this week after new jobs numbers suggested women have driven most employment gains since January, directly contradicting the party’s daily claim that President Trump wakes up every morning, puts on a hard hat, and personally declares war on every woman in America, sources have confirmed.
Cable-news analysts were forced to pause their scheduled segment, Trump Hates Women And Also Caused My Yogurt To Expire, after economists revealed women had secured a massive share of new jobs.
“This is horrifying,” said one progressive strategist clutching a panic graphic.
“Women are working, earning money, building careers, and improving their lives. This is exactly the kind of economic violence we warned about.”
The DNC immediately launched an investigation to determine whether the jobs were real, sexist, Russian, or part of Trump’s sinister plan to oppress women by making employers hire them.
“First he lowers barriers,” said one MSNBC contributor.
“Then businesses expand. Then women get hired. Then they receive paychecks. That’s how authoritarianism starts.”
Democrats quickly unveiled a new campaign message: women gaining jobs under Trump are not proof of opportunity, but proof they’re being “forced into prosperity without proper federal supervision.”
Meanwhile, Republicans celebrated the numbers as further evidence that the left’s emergency Handmaid’s Tale siren may need new batteries.
As of press time, Democrats clarified that women getting jobs under Trump is still oppression, because true equality means waiting six years for a government program to create the same job at triple the cost, plus a mandatory feelings seminar.
If Trump ended all wars, present and future, eliminated all taxes, stopped all crime, ended world wide drought, famine, poverty and disease, and figured out how to magnify the suns rays to produce enough power for the entire world using a facility covering only one acre of land, the left would compline that it would eliminate all militaries, the UN and million of bureaucrats who’s only job is to perpetuate the bureaucracy, because the left would have to figure out some thing to go on TV and complain about.
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Unfortunately this is about the size of it as far as the dems are concerned. Love your sense of humor guys. Keep up the good work!
The Demo Rats are a bunch of loses they’re evil and very nasty , they definitely Don’t Deserve to be in Politics… Demo Rats have no or care about what the American people want, they Only care about control Evil Evil.
Wow Spin Doctor! Way to continue the MAGA divisive bullshit…any chance that women going to work means that their household can’t live on one salary because of the increased cost of living under the 🍊🤡? 🤦🏻♀️
Women had to take jobs to support families since the 1970’s with Dem policies like Pres Carter with 12% mortgage rates and 21% car rates so blaming MAGA is ignorant of economic history. People under Democrat economic policies like Biden (which is spend more and take more work-check money from taxpayers and businesses along with NGO stealing and allowing government program fraud that only increase the deficit) also caused both parents to have to work even more to support their families as well as everyone else’s who don’t contribute a penny. The ones supporting the socialist Democrat party, better know in history as Communists, who think government has it’s own money, should go live in Russia, Korea, or China maybe even Iran and then tell me MAGA ideology is as you said bullshit. Try it and then write your piece like those of us who actually know and been there.
No shit, women have been working since the 70’s and before. I wasn’t saying that it was a new phenomenon. 🤦🏻♀️ I was simply pointing out the obvious, that maybe more women have entered the workforce since January, because the cost of living has been going up.
Did they take jobs from illegals?
According to the Main Stream Media, Mr. Trump hates: Women, Democracy, Clean Air, All Minorities and wants to ride horses bareback and shirtless on the beach with Vladimir Putin. There – does that about cover the nonsense?
Way ta go. Peter! Nailed the Democrap delusion in a nutshell….!
As a veteran that witnessed first hand how truly terrible Democrat Presidents decisions were when they knew full well that Iraq was not ready to stand on its own yet and Afghanistan was not ready to stand on their own yet, I have seen more common sense decisions coming from Republican Presidents. The Democrat Presidents literally handed terrorist organizations Hundreds of Billions of dollars in military supplies, weapons, and vehicles. Afghanistan also discovered the largest lithium and copper deposits in the world around that time and we should have brought mining crews to teach them how to get it out of the ground and process it. We would have been able to hire security groups to protect them and keep the dig sites secure while paying them from the proceeds and it would have provided jobs for Americans and Afghans while securing an economic future for their country. I was literally told to shut up and color when asking why we were not doing this while the US was in an economic depression. Also, we left those that helped us stranded and 3 of the Afghans that worked with us that I used to keep in contact with have not been heard from since Biden’s administration had us tuck tail and run in the middle of the night like a bunch of cowards while Afghans that worked with us were hunted down like dogs because the Taliban put bounties on their heads.