NEW YORK: Mayor Zohran Mamdani will replace an NYPD counterterrorism team with civilian protesters whose primary qualification is having shut down the bridges the police were trained to protect, sources have confirmed.
At Tuesday’s demonstration, an NYPD instructor planted an unattended briefcase in Times Square.
The civilian unit formed a perimeter, passed the briefcase a megaphone, and gave it three minutes to explain what the city had done to radicalize it.
When the briefcase declined to speak, officers assumed it was withholding its labor and voted to join the strike.
“Under the old system, a guy in a padded suit would’ve opened it by now,” Mamdani told reporters.
“Under ours, he’s welcome to submit a public comment.”
After forty minutes, the instructor opened the case himself. It contained a ham sandwich, which the unit promptly confiscated for crossing a picket line.
The instructor was written up for escalating a lunch.
City Hall hailed the drill as a success.
Nobody had been hurt, four new city jobs had been created, and the briefcase had been offered a permanent seat on the committee reviewing the city’s response to briefcases.
As of press time, the unit had closed the Brooklyn Bridge to investigate a report of someone closing the Brooklyn Bridge, and was asking witnesses to identify the officers from a group selfie.
Communist Miitants. Here we go…
Mandami needs to be sent to RIKERS ISLAND for a long vacation.
Is this story for real? Considering who we’re talking about, it wouldn’t surprise me, Remember when the Dems said they would replace the police with social workers? New York voters who voted for socialism deserve everything they get. Just wait for January when they all get sworn in.
He’s tr@sh
Communists always remove the police to make room for their private army.
Correct!! It’s what Fidel did in Cuba
This site must be like the Babylon Bee or the Onion. Sadly it could also be true.🙃