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Microwave Majesty: Prince Andrew Reportedly Learning How to Cook After Royal Perks Vanish

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
October 25, 2025
in World News
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LONDON — Following the removal of his royal banner and privileges, Prince Andrew has reportedly been forced to live what palace insiders are calling “a horrifyingly average life,” sources have confirmed.

Once surrounded by footmen, chefs, and scandal, the Duke of Disgrace was last seen wandering the aisles of a London Tesco clutching a frozen shepherd’s pie and muttering, “So this is what the peasants eat.”



Witnesses described the scene as “like The Crown meets Kitchen Nightmares.”

According to leaked reports, Andrew’s former aides have been reassigned to “someone who actually has money,” leaving the prince to fend for himself.

One former staffer said the transition was brutal: “We caught him trying to iron a pizza.”

Neighbors claim to have heard shouting from inside his new cottage as Andrew battled a microwave, yelling, “It won’t listen — I’m royalty!”

An insider added that after several failed attempts to reheat soup, he began referring to the appliance as “Her Majesty.”

Royal sources insist the demotion is permanent, though Buckingham Palace has quietly installed a “Do Not Feed the Duke” sign near his old quarters.

As of press time, Andrew was reportedly seen asking Alexa to call his butler — only to be reminded that he is the butler now.

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Comments 2

  1. David says:
    4 months ago

    Lol,Garma caught up to the Prince of Pedos

    Reply
  2. GSM says:
    4 months ago

    This is not new. Every person who feels they are entitled to the money and things that belong to others. Behave and act like this.Over 98%could not know how to cook . Like Andrew. He can’t remember those he ruined And these among us Don’t know who their babies daddies are . Ruining and depriving their children of a dad It doesn’t matter if you are supposedly from a so called royal family or the poorest among us .
    Over 99% know nothing but how to drop their drawers without any repercussions. Like the entitled threatening to kill Taxpayers for what they work for Andrew not only used and lived off of the poor in the Europe. Ruined countless innocent children .
    It’s called keeping up the deadbeats. While his subjects and America’s taxpayers were always treated to their disgusting behavior .
    His carnage is those he abused And Americans are about to see tfor the first time. . The first hand carnage by those who feel entitled as well . Entitlement is not only a House of Windsor crime But certain groups of people as well .

    Reply

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