Minnesota hired an election spokesman, Don Vouch-alot , after deciding its voter outreach needed the reassuring warmth of a man explaining an unexplained restaurant fire, sources have confirmed.
Melanie Hazelip supplied the opening line on Somali TV:
“If you’re already registered to vote, you don’t need to bring anything with you.”
The spokesman, Don Vouch-alot, nodded.
“Beautiful. She explains the rules. I make the follow-up questions feel expensive.”
A reporter asked how verification worked.
“You got questions. We got meatballs. Let’s solve one problem at a time.”
Officials unveiled a transparency initiative consisting of tinted windows and a clipboard facing the wrong direction.
“Citizenship is still required,” a staffer clarified.
“See? Rules. Beautiful rules. We even laminated some.”
Vouch-alot introduced his communications team:
Frankie Context, Joey Clarification, and Big Sal From Legal.
Big Sal’s contribution was standing closer.
A resident requested an independent review.
“Already done,” Vouch-alot replied, producing an evaluation signed Don Independent Review-alot.
“The handwriting matches yours.”
“Small state.”
Democrats praised the presentation, particularly the part where nobody felt comfortable raising another hand.
Officials promised further explanation at a public meeting whose location required a personal introduction.
The invitation said refreshments. The RSVP asked who sent you.
As of press time, Vouchalot had assured everyone there was nothing suspicious about the process, then asked whether the microphone was wearing a wire.
This one is all true…
I know. I was there !
As a “ Family “ guest of my cousin, Joey Bagadonuts.
And no, Joey ain’t “on the lamb” in Minnesota neither…
Thats just some more lying bullshit from that lying bullshit
liberal media !