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Home U.S. News

Powerball Winner Announces Plan To Go Get a Bunch of Groceries

Joe King by Joe King
July 16, 2024
in U.S. News
9
Powerball Winner Announces Plan To Go Get a Bunch of Groceries
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The winner of the $687 million Powerball lottery announced their immediate plans earlier today: they’re going to hit the grocery store and buy everything they need. 

“This is a dream come true,” said Wendy Clarke, winner of the nine figure payout, as she consulted a shopping list at an Albertson’s grocery store. “Recently I’ve had to cut back on just about everything, even though I am in a dual income family. No one in power wants to acknowledge that anything is going on, but if that’s true why did I have to eliminate condiments from our grocery budget?” 



The manager of the Albertson’s store was initially alerted by the suspicious behavior. 

“When I saw that woman loading up her cart with groceries I thought, ‘Oh great, another shoplifter,’ but I had it all wrong,” said Arthur Ewing, who was on duty when Clarke went on her lucrative shopping spree. “Turns out she just hit the jackpot and is celebrating with some ranch dressing and maple syrup. Congratulations!” 

As of press time, the Powerball winnings had been entirely depleted after Clarke stopped at Five Guys on the way home to grab dinner for her family. 

Tags: BidengroceriesinflationPM
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Comments 9

  1. Lee says:
    1 year ago

    😂😂…SoTRUE….Welcome to Bidenomics!!!!!

    Reply
    • Bobbi Chandler says:
      10 months ago

      True because I’m lucky if someone brings me a few packs of mustard and ketchup from fast food joints lol

      Reply
  2. Denny says:
    12 months ago

    I enjoyed the article.

    Reply
  3. TEE TOLIVER says:
    12 months ago

    What made the mismanager think that she was shoplifting, of all the nerve!

    Reply
  4. consumer kk says:
    11 months ago

    $13 for a burrito

    Reply
  5. GC Davis says:
    11 months ago

    Just after WWI in Germany, that was actually the case! The DeutcheMark’s value seriously tanked with all the reparations they had to pay.

    Reply
  6. Squiggy says:
    10 months ago

    The chicks pretty hot!! I’d do her without the 687 million!!! Yea, buddy!!

    Reply
  7. XRTO says:
    10 months ago

    She won exactly e rough to buy a forty of beer and a pack of menthol cigarettes.

    Reply
  8. 2004done says:
    10 months ago

    Like she could really find a bag big and strong enough to carry all the cash needed to buy groceries. Sorry Joe King, that’a bridge too far to cross, even without the cash..

    Reply

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