Students at Franklin High gave a Soviet grocery store five stars Tuesday after discovering that a line for one potato could get them out of two periods of algebra, sources have confirmed.
History teacher Linda Pritchard put the potato on a shelf and told 30 students to wait their turn. By third period, freshman Owen Bell was renting folding chairs for a dollar an hour.
Two sophomores were selling spots near the front, including one with an outlet and a clear view of the potato.
“I paid extra for that spot,” said sophomore Tyler Moss.
“Turns out I can do fractions when there’s a dollar in it.”
Then senior Caleb Dunn backed his pickup to the loading dock with a sack of potatoes from his dad’s garage. Principal Mark Bellamy suspended all four boys for disrupting the lesson. The cafeteria bought the sack before he finished calling their parents.
At lunch, Bellamy confiscated a tray of unauthorized fries, ate three, and asked the lunch lady if she could put a little more salt on the evidence.
As of press time, the original potato had been moved to the faculty lounge, where it could be viewed by appointment, and the district had approved $19,000 to study how Caleb Dunn had gotten more potatoes into the building without a deputy superintendent.
