State Farm has hit record profits after boldly canceling all fire insurance policies in California, sources have confirmed.
In a move that CFOs dream about, the insurance giant decided that the best way to handle the wildfire-ravaged state was to simply opt out.
“This is what we call a proactive risk management strategy,” a State Farm spokesperson said while unveiling the new ‘Just Don’t Live There’ policy package. The company has replaced fire insurance with a ‘thoughts and prayers’ coverage plan, which includes a complimentary ‘Stay Safe!’ e-card sent to former policyholders now facing the annual blaze season.
Financial analysts have lauded the move, highlighting the impressive profit margins gained from not actually having to cover any fires. “It’s quite innovative—turns out, not paying for disasters is actually quite profitable,” noted one Wall Street guru during a finance podcast.
California residents, however, have been less enthusiastic. Many were last seen forming a new line of defense against fires by strategically placing their useless insurance policies in front of advancing flames.
As of press time, State Farm was considering extending its new strategy to other risky ventures, pondering if hurricane insurance in Florida might similarly be better off as just a fond memory.
“Like a good neighbor State Farm isn’t there.”
😮*Nationwide is on your side, unless you have a claim*😮
I don’t blame State Farm at all, the Communist State of California is run by a real moron of a Government and to make maters worse the city of Los Angeles cut their fire department budget by around $17 million dollars, so they are doing little to nothing to mitigate damages to private and business properties when they know wild fires are more likely than not. This poorly run state deserves what it gets, it’s unfortunate that the residents have to suffer the consequences of a poorly run state government, but they voted these morons into office and if they wake up they can vote them out as well! The residents of California deserve better.
They were smart to get out of commie kalifornia where gruesome newsom did all he could to cause the fires!
California is a fool run state, fools voted into office by fools. Mayor bass takes 17-20 million $ out of the firefighters budget when it is the most fire prone state in the US. The highest risk state in the nation and what kind of idiot takes that money and wastes it on something else. Maybe a million to vacation in Africa? Insurance companies can not do business in CA without bankrupting, unless they can cover it by premiums from lower risk other states. Why would policy holders in other states agree to pay unreasonable fees for idot run places such as CA?
Insurance is intended to mitigate risk by spreading that risk across many people. Afrom the time of Hammurabi, the original intent of insurance was not for the purpose of profit., but for spreading risk. Blaming the fire department for wildfires caused by climate change is not sensible. And lauding an insurance company for declining to insure in favor of profits defies any he definition of spreading risk.
I moved out of L.A. years ago, and I’m very happy I did. Cal. Is run by a bunch of dummies, and threw the years it’s getting bad after bad, since gruesome newsom took office and his liberal dummies took office guess what happining, cutting the budget on fire protection, HOW STUPID IS THAT. YOUR FIRED.