Stormy Daniels Disappointed by Definition of ‘Hung Jury’

Stormy Daniels, adult entertainment star and a key figure in the ongoing hush money trial of Donald Trump was recently disappointed when she learned the definition of ‘hung jury,’ didn’t align with her initial assumption, sources confirmed. 

“She was walking through the courthouse the other day, just after she testified,” said Walt Stone, local bailiff. “And I was talking with my buddy Carl and he mentioned that there was a hung jury up on the third floor. Well, she must have overheard us because next thing I know she threw her coat on the floor and was running up the emergency stairs.” 

The anonymous foreman of said jury was confused, to say the least. 

“This is the strangest day I’ve ever had,” he said. “First, we spend six hours hopelessly deadlocked trying to come up with a verdict. Just going over the same things over and over, arguing and arguing. And the next thing I know the lady from the news bursts in here and demands all of us take our clothes off.  As the jury foreman, I thought it was my responsibility to go first. I take this role very seriously, you understand.”

As of press time, Daniels’ infiltration of the hung jury had resulted in a mistrial. When asked for comment on the matter, Ms. Daniels claimed she’d never met “Ms. Trial.”