WASHINGTON — Disturbing rumors continue to circulate that White House aides are repeatedly watching Weekend at Bernie’s, the 1989 film which focuses on a couple of men convincing people their boss isn’t actually dead.
“It’s just a good film,” said White House aide Leo Johnson, denying some grim rumors that have been circulating. “I think the media is reading way too much into this, like they always do. This is just a stressful job, and if we choose to blow off steam by watching a movie about tricking people into thinking a dead old guy is alive, that’s our business!”
“By the way,” he added. “Is that movie bullshit, or do you think that would work? Me and some of the guys have a bet.”
Critics of Biden slammed the administration for not being more upfront.
“The American people deserve to know what’s going on,” said Republican Conference Chairman. Rep. Elise Stefanik. “I had my concerns about Biden’s well being even before I knew his assistants were watching Weekend at Bernie’s three or four times a week. But now I’m convinced that man died sometime over the last few years, and they’re just parading him around. I don’t know what they think they’ll do come election time, but I guess if this walking corpse pulled it off once, anything’s possible.”
As of press time, aides were seen waving Biden’s arm in the air for him in an unconvincing attempt to prove that the Weekend at Bernie’s thing was a hoax. (JK)
