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UNGA Security to Be Replaced With Yoga Instructors After Leftist Tantrum

Joe King by Joe King
September 26, 2025
in Politics
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A Trump administration official was physically assaulted at the United Nations General Assembly by what the White House described as a “typical leftist,” sources have confirmed.

Witnesses say the attacker struck only after waiting until the official’s back was turned in the men’s room, explaining later that “eye contact is a microaggression.”



Progressive activists applauded the move, insisting it was a “nonviolent demonstration of kinetic empathy.”

One CNN analyst went further, calling it “the bravest restroom protest since Rosie O’ Donnell’s last post”

Conservatives noted the hypocrisy: if a Republican even sneezed near a progressive, it would be called attempted murder, a hate crime, and an act of biological terrorism.

Yet when the left throws punches, it’s rebranded as “performance art with jazz hands.”

Democrats insisted the incident wasn’t violent at all, just “expressive physicality with inclusive intent.”

The UN’s proposed solution was to replace armed guards with yoga instructors and pass a resolution declaring all future assaults to be “interpretive dance.”

As of press time, Democrats were demanding a public apology from President Trump, despite his absence, insisting it was his fault their hand hurts.

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Comments 2

  1. GSM says:
    8 months ago

    It’s safe to say !
    By now if you have at least one brain cell left !
    You can tell the entire Democratic Party And their followers have nothing inside their heads Noth even blood or air
    Anybody who supports democrats are the enemies within And let’s not forget the republicans who are supporters like the 4 who stopped the hate filled Omar from spewing her hate. So now she is emboldened to get even worse while receiving pay from the people whose money it belongs to.
    It’s time the UN was removed from our soil and absolutely no more money .

    Reply
  2. Pia says:
    8 months ago

    Fire all the UN “guards” and bring in ICE!

    Reply

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