Democrats fought tooth and nail this week to stop Republicans from “adding more seats to the political picnic table,” insisting that extra chairs would “ruin the vibe” and let in people who bring store-bought potato salad, sources have confirmed.
In a heated press conference, Rep. Marc Veasey stomped his foot and shouted, “We only want to share with OUR friends!” before dramatically crossing his arms, spinning around, and muttering “la-la-la” to drown out GOP questions.
Pelosi quickly backed him up, claiming the current seating arrangement — which conveniently places all the cookies, juice boxes, and swing districts on the Democratic side — was :“carefully curated to reflect diversity, equity, and our God-given right to win forever.”
When a reporter asked why Republicans shouldn’t get an equal number of seats, Veasey snapped, “Because they’ll just use them to talk about freedom, the Constitution, and Donald Trump — and that’s not what lunchtime is for!”
In an even stranger twist, Democrats reportedly hired a “feelings bouncer” to keep any MAGA hats from approaching the table, armed with a list of “approved emotional energy levels” for all picnic guests.
Sources say Chuck Schumer was seen holding a clipboard and asking each attendee, “Are you here for democracy or for America?” before granting access.
As of press time, Democrats were drafting emergency legislation to ban the GOP from bringing snacks unless they are gluten-free, plant-based, and personally blessed by Greta Thunberg while Kamala Harris provides interpretive dance explaining why freedom is problematic.
If Americans can’t see this . It means that we will.soon be living under the Communist party. Why. One reason is Republicans are the pussies democrats count on to do nothing! Democrats ( of which they don’t hide their death to Americans anymore ) especially spent us into the grave and still do. China owns the note on every penny they used to feed and clothe and house every illegal including 40,000 Chinese CNP men .And keep us in wars that we are not part of. But our people due for . Money they borrowed to fund Their evil schemes . Putting our soil and everything up against as the collateral . Like a bank China can say America your loan is canceled. Let that sink in if your brain can think past 2 seconds of thought.
The gerrymandering Of adding more representatives than any other state is a democrat device to keep Americans dying.Affirmative Action started blacks into the path of everything belongs to them. Well Folks blacks didn’t fight to free this nation from king George.And the freedoms you enjoy! White people died to have . And democrats are the slave owners of blacks. Using them to achieve their power . California is a place that God is about to end. When a well known preacher in California tells Californians to take their children and get out of that state . You know it must be evil .
Right now It is about to go to the desk of the moron governor to put his name on their new bill . That bill is and extension of child sex trafficking . It says that anyone can fill out papers and take your child out of school or any place without you permission . This is to allow illegals to keep using children that are not theirs for sex and people’s sick putrid evil .