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Home Politics

WipeGate Scandal Sends Dude Wipes Stock Soaring

Joe King by Joe King
June 3, 2025
in Politics, U.S. News
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Congresswoman Becca Balint’s immigration quip sent Dude Wipes sales soaring, sources have confirmed.

At a Vermont town hall, Balint declared, “Without more immigration, we’re not gonna have anyone to wipe our a–es,” sparking MAGA outrage and a bizarre boom for the bro-branded butt wipes.



X posts roasted her “plantation mindset,” alleging she sees immigrants as mere “elite backside cleaners.”

The VTGOP slammed her “demeaning” remark, while Dude Wipes stock spiked 300% as preppers and patriots stockpiled packs, fearing a “wipe-less dystopia.”

Balint’s team claimed she meant “labor shortages,” but right-wing meme-lords churned out “WipeGate” NFTs, with DOGE vowing to audit her TP budget.

Critics tied her gaffe to her immigration advocacy, citing her push for migrant rights as “enabling Biden’s open-border chaos.”

As of press time, Balint was pitching a “Bidet for Every Butt” bill to calm the Dude Wipes frenzy.

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Comments 3

  1. Pia says:
    2 weeks ago

    Instead of “butt wipes” perhaps she meant that her liberal constituents need Vaseline because their heads are stuck up their ass.

    Reply
  2. GSM says:
    2 weeks ago

    It’s amazing how many senile morons are in the Democratic Party. We all know the republicans are the so nothing kiss democrat anus people .,We sat by and watched as they conned Americans about the dementia fool that sat in our house. Whose crimes go back over 55 yrs against Americans. None of them are rich from their own money . Now are we going to continue to sit back and let these insane evil putrid demented fools run all over us with their lies And threats to kill us. It’s time all of DC got more than a tap on the shoulder . Democrats entire platform is the murder of Americans. By any means food and air and water and stealing. But most of all making sure idiot females are indoctrinated into being whores dropping their pants . So their babies who do not carry only their DNA . And is not just theirs. Make them rich selling their body parts Now that’s not a blob . That’s murder.
    Then take a hard look at how they are protecting illegals and Muslims who are living on our dime popping out babies
    Only a blind fool can’t see what they are doing And there are plenty of blind fool Americans kissing their putrid anus’s

    Reply
  3. David says:
    2 weeks ago

    Not an inch of our US land should be sold to any foreign entity.

    Reply

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