LOS ANGELES, CA — Socialist mayoral candidate Nithya Raman declared a major infrastructure victory this week after Los Angeles successfully painted several lines across a street, completing what officials described as the most ambitious application of yellow paint in modern municipal history, sources have confirmed.
The project reportedly required months of planning, multiple meetings, consultants, community outreach, and one intern brave enough to finally open the paint can.
Raman celebrated beside the newly striped crosswalk while cameras rolled.
A resident pointed at the cracked pavement underneath.
“The road is still broken.”
An aide immediately stepped between them.
“Please stop looking beneath the accomplishment.”
City Hall then unveiled its new Department of Cosmetic Infrastructure.
Potholes will receive decorative borders.
Cracked sidewalks become community mosaics.
Sinkholes qualify as below-grade mobility features.
Abandoned shopping carts will be designated experimental public transit.
Officials insisted the program represents bold progressive governance because fixing things is expensive, while photographing them after painting is significantly cheaper.
Republicans reportedly began mailing Raman thank-you cards because her press releases now arrive prewritten as opposition ads.
The mayoral campaign then released its four-year infrastructure plan:
Year One: Paint curb.
Year Two: Replace sign.
Year Three: Study trash can.
Year Four: Re-elect Raman.
As of press time, Los Angeles declared the crosswalk fully operational after confirming pedestrians could now clearly see exactly where the pavement was falling apart.
Welcome to how Democrats fix infrastructure. Here in Illinois the puts up “Bump” orange signs to fix problems. But here in illinois Republican’s can’t figure out a better way than to go along with it.
You can’t fix stupid.
What a Wierdo . AMERICA. WAKE UP. COMMUNISM IS COMING IF AMERICA DOES NOT STOP THESE IDIOTS, SATANIST, MURDERING NON- HUMAN BEINGS !!!
.
I want to go and be among the animals there in the mountains, at least the animal kingdom still operates out of
common sense and intelligence. To hear how Stupid our elected officials have become by allowing complete Idiots to hold a position in office is Cartoonish.
I don’t want to be associated with these Sub-Humans that call themselves Politicians, there are Clearly the Worst
subjects to ever be considered for Political Office, We can expect to See our Destruction of Society very soon.
It’s not Decades but rather months or a few years to experience our Downfall and I want to Leave and go to another land, Country where people still have their Sanity in Place, as where these United States are filled with
Lunatics that can’t even name the Mountain where the 4 Heads of Gov’t exist or even the State that they’re in?
I appreciate all this feedback and all of it is right. Unfortunately, the only people voting are the voters that believe in all that nonsense of free, free, free. Historically a minority of registered voters actually vote, and a majority of our voter eligible citizens are not even registered to vote. If you want to get this country back on the right path, get registered and vote in every election. If you are not registered or are but do not vote, you are also part of the problem.
Media Bias/Fact Check classifies The Daily Skrape as “Right-Satire” and explicitly says its content is fictional and comedic. Hello people this is not real!