WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Democrats reportedly experienced an election-season miracle Wednesday after more than 140 of them suddenly discovered government fraud exists and voted to make President Trump’s fraud-enforcement division permanent, sources have confirmed.
Doctors described the recovery as unprecedented.
“Last month he couldn’t even pronounce ‘waste, fraud and abuse,’” one aide whispered as a congressman triumphantly checked YES.
“He’s making incredible progress.”
The discovery created immediate confusion.
“Wait,” one staffer asked.
“Wasn’t this the program we said was political?”
“Yes.”
“And now we’re keeping it?”
“Correct.”
“Did the facts change?”
“The calendar did.”
Consultants immediately unveiled new campaign literature:
DEMOCRATS: TOUGH ON THE FRAUD WE RECENTLY DISCOVERED.
Vice President JD Vance’s office responded by sending Democrats a congratulatory fruit basket marked:
WELCOME TO THE INVESTIGATION.
The situation became more awkward when someone mentioned Minnesota, where Vance previously referred Gov. Tim Walz and Attorney General Keith Ellison to the division.
Several lawmakers suddenly became fascinated by the ceiling.
One strategist explained that this was not technically a flip-flop.
“It’s an election-year policy migration.”
Reporters nodded because apparently that sounded better.
By dinner, Washington had officially confirmed fraud was real, taxpayer money mattered, and bipartisan enforcement was suddenly fashionable.
As of press time, officials were investigating whether elections themselves cause temporary outbreaks of common sense.
It is election time and of course the corrupt democrats will support anything to get them re elected.
They want to support it because it makes them look less corrupted… nice try though.
Pointing fingers and blaming won’t fix things. Getting right with Almighty God 1st, is truly what we need… this will then help the WHOLE United States of America come TOGETHER, as one nation under Almighty God. To rectify policy and laws. Making oaths to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ is where our human rights and way of living are.
Listen, We as individuals are all unique and different… WE must remember that our heavenly Father God NEVER changes, the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob is whom I am referring to.
So let’s put our SELFISH emotions, ego and pride aside and come together and pray and serve in Jesus Almighty name.
For we are ONE Nation Under God Almighty ✝️💪💜🇺🇸🕊
Jesus Died for us, the least we can do is Live for him.
Amen.
Holly, shut the fuck up! You can blow your Pastor after the services are over on Sunday.