HOLLYWOOD, CA — American Idol reportedly packed its microphones, golden tickets, and remaining functional extension cords for Georgia this week after discovering Atlanta offers lower production costs, peaches, Southern hospitality, and considerably fewer reasons to hold an emergency budget meeting, sources have confirmed.
The departure ended more than two decades of Hollywood production.
California officials immediately launched an investigation into why businesses keep leaving California.
The investigation will cost $14 million.
Results are expected in 2034.
Georgia welcomed the show with sweet tea, tax incentives, and a studio parking lot where producers reportedly stared silently for several minutes after discovering parking was actually possible.
Meanwhile, Gov. Gavin Newsom allegedly demanded an audition.
Witnesses say he arrived wearing aviators, carrying California’s production budget, and performed an emotional rendition of:
“BABY COME BACK.”
Lionel Richie reportedly hit the buzzer before the second verse.
Newsom continued anyway.
“You can blame it all on meeeee—”
“Yes,” whispered an accountant.
Producers emphasized the move had absolutely nothing to do with politics and everything to do with math, which California officials immediately denounced as an out-of-state extremist ideology.
Hollywood executives then unveiled a recovery plan consisting of another committee, three tax studies, six press conferences, and a beautifully designed PDF.
As of press time, Georgia had already offered the PDF a production credit.
Anything to do with Newscum and his wife is dealing with a den of thieves. If Californians dont vote him out of office, they deserve what they get!!!!
He is a mental disgrace as well as a lying corrupt piece of scum, hence the name!!!!!
Math is an exact science and it permeates everything in our universe, and obviously the Left cannot get beyond zero.
By the time the investigation is over in 2034, there won’t be any businesses in California to worry about.
California could become a total Welfare state with no one working and just homeless and “Takers” living there.
When Newsome is gone and another demonrat comes along, guarantee CA will sink to the bottom of the ocean. There will be nothing left there for anyone to enjoy. It’s already the stinky crotch of America. Feeding drugs to the druggies, letting the homeless take over the streets. It’s pathetic to see what could be such a beautiful state gone down to the uglieness of the gutters that hold the trash. All due to Newsome’s so called leadership.