A local man has reportedly asked his family if he could please just have a little peace, and quiet, and 28 hours of uninterrupted time to watch football this weekend, sources have confirmed.
“Oh god, it’s this time of year again already,” said Joan Brooks, whose husband Marvin requested to be left alone from the hours of 10:00 AM until midnight, Saturday and Sunday, every weekend until Christmas, in order to watch football. “He just stares at it, mumbling to himself, occasionally getting up to go to the bathroom or get another beer. It’s kind of like he’s in a coma, but not quite, you know?”
The autumn ritual is a familiar one for many families in America.
“I always thought my dad was the only weirdo like this,” said Kate Brooks, Marvin’s daughter. “But then I started talking about it with my friends at school, and it sounds like a lot of their dads do nothing but watch football all weekend. They stop going to church, stop doing yardwork, stop hanging out with their families, they even stop communicating, except for short bursts during commercial breaks and halftime. And honestly? I don’t hate it.”
When asked for comment during Thursday Night Football the other night, Marvin Brooks grunted at us and gestured for us to leave him alone.
The woke nfl sucks hind tit. I only watch college football and women’s softball.
Ralph has it right. The NFL has become so woke they wait for approval from a flash in the pan singer before they do anything.
I agree! I watch college football and hockey. When the NHL starts in October, I will be watching NHL Center Ice.
I like you stop watching the NFL years ago when they decided to do a walkout claiming they didn’t make enough money, the same reason I stopped watching MLB and the NBA. Then when they decided to start kneeling at our national anthem that just made me want to puke at the sight of professional athletes and sports. I only watch college football, women’s softball and volleyball, and I’ll stop watching them if they start allowing these confused little men that want to pretend they are women start playing on the women’s teams. They only do it because they aren’t man enough to compete against real men.
Whatever happened to the guys that played the games for love of the game?
A dying breed. Just like what ever happened to sand lot sports? Kids are to busy with video games, their cell phones and prepping for future lives as couch potatoes living in their parents basements.
I stopped watching football when they decided to wear face masks. The pansies!!! I also stopped watching the NBA when the only white people were the announcers. Give me womans softball. I love to see the pitchers winding up to throw the ball. And those volleyball women look fabulous in their outfits.
You may be a patriot but your a moron.
Back in the 50’s football didn’t have all these rules so they wouldn’t get hurt but with all the new rules more get hurt today than back then. So they ruined the sport without gaining anything.
The NFL is doing its part to cure this ailment. They have become unwatchable!