More details from last week’s shocking trade of all-star wide receiver Stefon Diggs from the Buffalo Bills to the Houston Texans have revealed that the Bills merely received a bag of peanuts as compensation, sources have confirmed.
“I apologize for my earlier reports that stated the Buffalo Bills received a second round pick for Stefon Diggs, the four-time Pro Bowler,” said NFL reporter Blake Warner. “That was a false claim, and the truth is that the compensation was actually far, far less. Stefon Diggs was traded to the Houston Texans for nothing but a bag of peanuts, I’m afraid.”
While fans in Buffalo were understandably upset to see one of their best players traded away for so little, Bills ownership insisted the move made sense.
“We’re losing our ass on contracts here,” said Bills owner Terry Pegula. “We had to do something to free up some money. We almost traded [star quarterback] Josh Allen to the Falcons for a couple of rap CD’s, but they stopped taking our calls after a while. So we went with our next option and called up the Texans. We’re so broke that we had to take any offer they gave us. Sadly, that offer was a bag of peanuts. Honey roasted, at least, but still not the kind of return you want to see on a player like Diggs.”
As of press time, the Buffalo Bills were holding open tryouts in hopes of finding a new starting wide receiver in time for the season. The job pays 13 dollars an hour.
