WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. James Walkinshaw reportedly poured cold water on the latest jobs report Thursday by reminding Americans that employment is basically useless if getting to work requires gasoline, shoes, pants, or any other expense associated with leaving the couch, sources have confirmed.
Democratic strategists immediately unveiled their new economic doctrine:
If anything still costs money, nothing counts.
“You found a job?”
“Yes.”
“But gasoline exists.”
“Well…”
“CHECKMATE, CAPITALISM.”
The party then introduced its preferred alternative: wait patiently for the DSA’s fleet of free electric buses powered entirely by shared wealth, good intentions, and a battery nobody has figured out how to charge.
One unemployed TikTok economist praised the proposal from his parents’ basement.
“Work shouldn’t be necessary to earn money,” he explained while monetizing a video complaining that nobody can afford anything.
A factory recruiter offered him $28 an hour.
“Does it have remote Tuesdays?”
“It’s a welding job.”
He blocked her.
Republicans compared Democrats to the friend who complains about sunshine, rain, summer, winter, weekends, Mondays, and eventually oxygen.
Meanwhile, actual workers kept filling gas tanks, showing up, earning paychecks, and committing the controversial act of improving their circumstances.
As of press time, Democrats had discovered another fatal flaw in employment: apparently your alarm clock still goes off in the morning.
How stupid can you demos get ?
Just hang on. We see it every day. Stock up on popcorn, the Dems are a thrill a minute! 🤷♂️😖
Okay then dumorats you clean your own fucking building see how long that lasts
It’s time to remove the complete Democratic Party from our government they are destroying their own states every single day business or closing and people are leaving by the thousands every single day that means they have to raise our taxes because of there incompetence and corruption. Remember the created the Green New Deal that cost taxpayers Trillions and Trillions of our taxpayer money and they have nothing to show for it total incompetence and waste of taxpayers money. And democrats are the the ones who allowed 20-30 Million illegals invade our country and neighborhoods and lied to the American people for 4 years saying the border is secure lying bastards and now the want to give the voting rights in our country if they ever regain power and control again they will open every border again and finish destroying our country never ever Trust a democrat ever again. How is it every democrat became a multimillionaire in 4 years of the Biden democrats administration. Corruption and they want to blame Trump for all there failures. We need a completely new party to replace the democrats party that respects the American people and laws and constitution. No sanctuary states
Amen
Trillionaire tax, one time only
they left the state
Billionaire tax, temporary, one time only
they left the state
Millionaire tax, will only be a one time tax
they are leaving the state, and taking their businesses with them
Oh boy, we are next, the Thousandaire club of working citizens
I guess we are going to be leaving also.