DETROIT, MI — Abdul El-Sayed reportedly made a serious tactical error this week: he mentioned JD Vance’s wife one too many times and accidentally awakened the Momma Bear.
The first warning came from JD:
KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
El-Sayed’s campaign advised him to stop.
Then Beverly Vance Aikins entered the family group chat under the username MAMA BEAR 76, accompanied by three flag emojis, a boxing glove, and one message:
WHO IS THIS LITTLE MAN AND WHY IS HE TALKING ABOUT MY FAMILY?
Within seconds, the rest of the Vance family joined.
JD changed his status to DEFENDING THE FAMILY.
Usha appeared online but said nothing, which aides described as “far more intimidating.”
An uncle nobody had heard from since 2008 posted a blurry photo of a pickup truck:
WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS.
The group name changed to VANCE FAMILY SECURITY COUNCIL.
Then Republicans arrived.
Mike Rogers joined and changed his status to STANDING WITH THE VANCES.
Several Republican lawmakers appeared behind Beverly in a hastily assembled video call, holding signs reading:
WE ARE ALL MOMMA BEAR NOW
El-Sayed’s consultants panicked.
“Sir, you’re supposed to be running against Mike Rogers.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you fighting JD Vance, his wife, his mother, three cousins, an uncle, and the entire Republican Party?”
Nobody had an answer.
El-Sayed tried changing the subject to healthcare.
Mom replied:
DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
He mentioned billionaires.
JD sent a thumbs-down.
He mentioned Hasan Piker.
Usha left the chat.
By midnight, the group had 147 members, including Aunt Linda, who posted:
I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.
As of press time, El-Sayed’s campaign had adopted a new strategy: discuss Michigan, avoid Usha, and never awaken the Momma Bear.
Because once Momma Bear wakes up, the whole family gets up.
And when Republicans hear the growl, they line up behind her.
This little man, (sayed habeeb punk, or whatever his name is, just lost his race for gov, which he was never really in, to begin with.
No one who is Muslim or socialist should be allowed to run for ANY government office in the USA!
You’re damned right. Let’s not continue the conquering from within by these non-assimilating 3rd world, 7th century troglodites.
I say F that little commie from Michigan he needs to keep his punk mouth shut and stop✋️ talking about my Vice President and his family.
I love this website! I get a good chuckle every time I read it. Keep it up!!
Usha is more intimidating? Ok. Maybe we’ll see.
Vance is probably seen as dangerous, because he is pretty sharp, mentally and in appearance. I don’t know if the GOP establishment wants him, but he would be formidable. Maybe Sayed knows that but it was probably an amateur move and his handlers were not ready to go there—at least yet.
God Bless America! A sleeping giant is again awakened! The evil race baiters and political Islamists trying to dovide and conquer the USA are out of their league as the good We The People of America are awake and doing infinitely more good than evil.
I suport the Vance family! Usha is a role model . She is Intelligent, Beautiful, Unpretentious, Kind, Respectful, and always Classy.