NEW YORK: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez launched her crusade against excessive wealth from a hotel suite so large that housekeeping required congressional redistricting, sources have confirmed.
“Nobody needs this much luxury,” declared AOC, requesting a second robe because the first had encountered ordinary air.
Her campaign explained that staying among the wealthy allowed her to study inequality where it received turndown service.
“You can’t dismantle the system without understanding the minibar,” an aide confirmed.
Asked whether donors should cover luxury accommodations, AOC defended the arrangement.
“One supporter gave up coffee for a week to contribute,” an aide explained.
“We honored that sacrifice by ordering hers upstairs.”
The suite featured heated marble floors and a pillow menu AOC condemned as capitalism before requesting the tasting flight.
Downstairs, volunteers assembled signs demanding an end to exploitation. Upstairs, a concierge assembled her bath.
Staff called this a division of revolutionary labor.
At dinner, AOC demanded the rich pay their fair share while a waiter shaved truffles onto her solidarity.
“Enough?” he asked.
“Not until everyone has some.”
He reached for another plate.
“I meant more on mine.”
As of press time, AOC had assured supporters that every dollar helped fight privilege, with twenty-seven dollars successfully preventing her from having to carry her own suitcase.
I’d like to know exactly how much of donor’s money was spent on this splurge. I know she sacrificed so much for this anti-capitalism gorge. I just know she’ll be doing this weekly from now on. The suffering this poor girl goes through so we won’t have too.
Typical Socialist, Enjoying the finer things while demanding everyone gives up their wealth!