Earlier today Apple closed their annual demonstration of upcoming products by announcing that the price of the forthcoming iPhone 16 Plus would be a literal arm and a leg.
“Now let’s not get all excited here,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook, shortly announcing the higher-than-expected asking price of two human limbs. “I never said they had to be your arm and leg. Obviously, a lot of people are going to go that route, but we really don’t care. We just need the arms and legs. Don’t ask why.”
Despite the controversial and potentially violent request, Apple fans jumped at the chance to be among the first to buy the new smartphone.
“I’m hoping I can finish just as the store is opening up on the 20th,” said Apple devotee Chad Martin, who was sitting outside of an Apple Store in Los Angeles, slowly sawing through his leg with a hacksaw. “It hurts like hell, but I still have a week and a half before it comes out, so I think I’ll figure something out. In the meantime, I’m just camping out here and watching stuff on my iPad. I really can’t wait to upgrade my phone. It’s not even costing me a thousand bucks this time!”
As of press time, Apple confirmed that customers could get the smaller, regular iPhone 16 for the cost of just one human limb once it’s released.
I buy older iPhones. I just got a 10 for 100 bucks. My old iPhone 8 was 75 bucks 3 years ago. That’s bidenomics for ya
Who cares about any tracking device anymore.
The question keeps coming up. “What’s your smartphone number?” My reply is “Smartphone? I don’t even have a stupid phone!” All of us dinosaurs still communicate with land lines.
I’ve had the same galaxy S7 for the last 7 or 8 years. Only because they had no more S5s like the last one I broke
Apple keeps adding “whistles and bells” and keeps shrinking the devices battery, while stating “it’s much better than new”. I still have my iPad 4, yes an old iPad 4.
I made a “leap of faith”, and purchased an iPad Pro 12.9 no less. Just after the warranty ended, the iPad started to show that its battery wasn’t up to the job. After using the iPad Pro on YouTube for a hour or so the battery showed its battery level to be around 45% ! I took the iPad Pro to the Apple Store to have it checked out.
The Apple Store geek checked it out and returned, stating the a yada yada switch was defective and couldn’t be fixed. Being stupid, I purchased a new iPad pretty much the same except for the new whistle & bells. Lo and behold the NEW iPad after some months became power hungry just like the previous iPad Pro. This time it was still under warranty, so I made my appointment, waited for an hour in the Apple Store. The first geek set us down at their tables, and went to lunch. Some time later the second geek stopped and said he would help.
After browsing through my history the geek stated that the battery was being drained so quickly because Imwas “spending so much time on YouTube which was too high resolution”. To which I stated, “it’s an iPad Pro and I am shocked that it can’t handle the same load as my ancient iPad 4.
I stated that any “PRO” device should be able to handle a “PRO” use, and using the device for an hour isn’t truly PRO capable.
MY LAST IPAD PRO.
That is the problem with ALL battery powered devices, especially tools. I wouldn’t accept even a free tool of any kind. The “bare tool” is very cheap it’s the batteries were they get you. No matter who makes the tool the batterieus come from China. I purchased a 5″ cordless circle saw so I could use it far away from an outlet. Big mistake. I tried to make a 20 inch cut across a piece of 3/4 inch plywood. The battery was fully charged. The saw could not make it across the 20 inch piece of wood. The saw was brand new and made by a company with an excellent reputation for quality tools. The only tools I have that are cordless are drills. But I have to have at least 2 batteries if I need to be able to work for an hour. Cordless tools are a con job. A spare battery costs more than the damn tool. The alleged convenience of cordless is totally obliterated by the need for multiple batteries just to get the work done. This of course is my opinion but the sales pitch about them is pure B.S.
You can buy cheap chink knockoff battles online. Amazon eBay, etc. they work better, but ya can’t push them hard.
Hmmm… did Apple say any particular size arm or leg? I have lots of muscle on them so I should be able to either get more or they take maybe just the leg?
The iPhone now and cars in the past. Planned obsolescence. Bank draining for the customer but adding to the bank coffers for Apple. How much money is enough? Oh, wait, it’s never enough.
Planned obsolescence ended for cars when the japs and krauts could finally produce enough cars to ship to USA. Us automakers purposely made the piston rings tight, to wear out and smoke around 80 to 100 thousand miles my last Chevy LS engine went 500,000, and my son in law still drives it at 550,000, and don’t get all the fru fru crap
I bet some ding dong that reads this article actually cuts off a persons limb and then a law suit. I had a 4S then a 10 which I still use and will until it craps out. Ridiculous the cost of these electronics.
Stupid Americans! Yes!! pay China money for crap,! They give us holy warriors in Mideast money to fight you to deplete your resources, so we can take u over easy!! Ali akbar infiedel!!