Pop star and part-time geopolitical theorist Billie Eilish has been hailed by progressives as a fearless truth-teller after declaring “no borders on stolen land,” a philosophy she applies rigorously to every property she does not own, sources have confirmed
According to insiders, Eilish spent the week convening a deeply spiritual committee of TikTok activists, candle merchants, and one very confused real-estate attorney to determine whether her gated Los Angeles mansion qualifies as “ancestral land” or merely “ancestral vibes.”
“I stand with Indigenous peoples,” Eilish reportedly said while being driven through her private security gate. “But I also stand behind really tall walls that keep out… everyone.”
The Tongva tribe politely requested a conversation, which Eilish agreed to—so long as it could be filmed in soft lighting, set to moody music, and framed as a journey of personal growth rather than, you know, a property negotiation.
Left-wing allies praised her courage, explaining that returning land is “colonial,” but tweeting about returning land is “healing.”
Meanwhile, activists have already moved on to a new cause involving biodegradable guilt and artisanal outrage.
As of press time Eilish was reportedly drafting a new anthem titled No Borders (Except Mine) while installing even taller ones.
This little TWIT is the poster child for the LEFT. “DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO “.
This person is just another HOLLYWEIRD who doesn’t have a clue about anything and is absolutely PATHETIC.
O lord It’s hard to be humble when Im perfect in every way
To Ms Eilish – Tear down those walls. What an ungrateful idiot.
This is why you don’t listen to celebrities about ANYTHING!! Just a bunch of hypocrites! So I feel that a local Indian tribe in her area , take her land back, it’s the right thing to do Billie!🤔
No wonder that snooze-a-thon won you the “best song” Grammy. After that acceptance speech, she’ll be getting a lifetime achievement award from the Grammy Foundation and a glowing interview in Vogue complete with photos via Annie Leibowitz.
Just another woke c unt who thinks she deserves everything so others can’t have.
Now that the “F” bomb is becoming more socially acceptable we begin with the “C” bomb to express our deeps imaginations🤷🏻. I find the “C” bomb even more offensive, what will democrats float next? Totally off the reservation!
Stupid is as stupid does, consider the source. Nuff said
You missed a word in your description of a spiritual gathering, must have been a typo.
Should read EVIL spiritual gathering!!!
who are you talking about?
nothing is marked