In what aides are already calling the most devastating downgrade since their library card expired, Bill and Hillary Clinton reportedly discovered that their gilded “Democratic Royalty Membership” was, in fact, nothing more than a sparkly frequent-flyer account that could be revoked the moment it became politically inconvenient, sources have confirmed.
The couple arrived at the DNC “Platinum Democracy Lounge,” only to find their velvet throne replaced with a wobbly IKEA chair labeled Subject to Oversight.
Party leaders slid a laminated subpoena across the table like a passive-aggressive Starbucks receipt, cooing, “We still adore you… but the polls adore us more.”
Bill allegedly tried to swipe his “Lifetime Immunity Card,” which immediately beeped, flashed INSUFFICIENT POWER, and was eaten by a malfunctioning ballot printer.
Hillary, staring into the void, reportedly rebooted three times before whispering, “Have… have the norms abandoned me?”
Meanwhile, anonymous donors deployed a swarm of gold-plated drones to airlift the couple to a “Very Important Person Accountability-Free Safe Space,” only to be grounded by a Democrat-run “Optics Control Unit.”
Rep. Comer celebrated by unveiling a novelty calendar titled Day One of Consequences. A
s of press time the Clintons were still searching their carry-on bags for the mythical “You Can’t Do This To Us” boarding pass.
These two assholes Clinton’s should be arrested and jailed immediately before they testify on their subpoena that they refused to attend. No one is above the law. And other people who didn’t show up when subpoenas were given were arrested so why not the two most corrupt people in history not arrested. Clinton’s belong in jail immediately. No special treatment they became criminals.
Cinton’s belong in PRISON ASAP.
EVERY CRIME COMMITED 5 YEARS EACH..THIS WOULD BET SOME JUSTICE!