SACRAMENTO, CA — Gavin Newsom is back in the headlines after belting out his favorite tune: “It’s all Trump’s fault — he won’t give me more money!” Sources have confirmed.
Public records now show that Newsom’s office has spent nearly $250 million in taxpayer funds on luxury hair care products — including vegan, gluten-free, cruelty-free, petroleum-free, and possibly results-free hair dye — as well as several “mental health retreats” for him and close staffers.
When questioned about the retreats, a spokesperson for the Governor’s office clarified that “the therapists are just better in Costa Rica.”
Reports indicate that airfare, resort stays, and daily avocado therapy sessions were all billed to California taxpayers as “emergency wellness stabilization efforts.”
The White House responded swiftly.
Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced that the administration is considering a new “Newsom-Free Fire Aid Budget,” which she described as “the first disaster plan guaranteed to actually reach victims instead of Newsom’s salon therapy chair.”
As of press time, Newsom was seen blow-drying his hair beside a candlelight vigil for fiscal responsibility.
Whatever is in the hair products he uses, it’s dripping ! That guy is greasy and slippery from head to toe. I would say he’d make a great used car salesmen…
But that would be an insult to used car salesmen !
I wouldn’t buy anything from him. I wouldn’t use his grease for anything either.
A liar. A fraud. The worst governor in history of Californication. Maybe the bounty solicitations
could be redirected to those who deserve it….certainly NOT ICE!
It’s time the taxpayers of California sue Newscum personally for wasting taxpayers money on personal entertainment for himself and his political opponents. It’s time he gets audited with a forensic financial investigation aka colonoscopy time. For him personally and state auditors.
Gay boy needs to be held accountable for all his corruption.
He is a embarrassment to California, that state is dire need of new leadership, but the candidates don’t look so good , well the British guy maybe
Gruesome Newsom is a disgrace to the once beautiful state of California, and he is a pathetic piece of humanity and a despicable person.